Before you read further, I want to warn you. It's not the best you've ever read but I just had to get some feelings out of me. So basically I'm trying to get some help with how not to give a ship about what people think of you.
So I know that many of you when mentioned 'Iceland' think that. 'Oh it's so beautiful there, and everything is amazing and the people are just oh so nice!' But to tell you the truth, it's not like that. I mean ok. Iceland is really beautiful but teenagers in Iceland are like really bitchy. I'm not talking about everyone but most of them.
I just started high school. And I basically don't know anyone that I go to classes with. So I'm alone like all the time and don't speak much unless the teacher asks me a question. To top it all I am Polish. Icelandic teenagers don't really like Polish people because most of Polish people decide to move to Iceland because of better job opportunity. And most of the Icelandic teenagers are like; 'Go back where you came from, you're just taking our opportunity to work.'
Of course if there is a opportunity to make your kid's life better you take the risk. But then there's this behavior. Kids and teenagers in Iceland will make fun of you, and it really hurts because you're always trying to do your best to fit in but there's like always something they will find to make you want to literally cut your wrists. It's even harder for me to make friends, I know the Icelandic language perfectly and people don't notice that I'm a foreigner until they know my full name. After that part of me is revealed everything turns into total hell like they still talk to you but when you're not around they start to talk shit about you and spread rumors about you immediately.
And so as I said, I just started high school and literally half of the school already hates me because I'm Polish, they have NEVER spoken to me and they're like already giving me death glares. It hurts, it really hurts.
And me being me I just smile at them like nothing happens and then in the end of the day I like sit in my room and cry and then promise myself not to give a shit about it and be better than them and like when they're mean just say a compliment or do something not to show them that they did hurt me, but as always it somehow doesn't work and the next day I wake up I'm my old self letting people walk all over me.
And so, I have two questions.
Why do people have so much prejudice for foreigners?
And also if you know maybe something I could do to help me practice to not give a shit about what people say about me or think about me and live life the fullest? Like, what do you do when people talk stuff about you before they even speak to you?
I know I'm not the only one out there feeling guilty about being from another country. And I do know that we shouldn't be ashamed for where we are from but somehow we forget that we should be proud of who we are and let other people walk over us. This journal is not supposed to turn out like about me being all 'why the fuck was I born Polish.' It's about me asking you guys(even if you're not a foreigner) how you deal with rumors and people being bitchy to you with no reason. I just had to get this out of myself.I'd like to thank those that actually read this long journal.
P.S. I'm going to update my story this weekend, probably two chapters since I didn't have time to write them because of school. I had lots of homework.
P.P.S Go check out this video, it really made my day. http://bit.ly/hKlA7
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