Dearest mother, oh how you've changed.

I just don't understand people anymore, when I say people, I mean my mother.
We've never been close as such and to be honest, I'm glad we aren't because all we ever do is fight. Last night I went out with friends and we had one too many drinks, so i called my mum and told her I was staying over. That was fine. Or at least I thought so.

Next day I come home completely sober. I hadn't even stepped foot in the door and she screams at me, for apparantly being stupid, for being out so late at people I don't know's houses. Sorry, but I've been friends with these people a very long time, it was either that or I got arrested for being underage and drunk. For once I didn't shout, i didn't raise my voice and I'm still the one who is called sellfish. The little row soon ended up being blown out of proportion. This was no longer about staying out over night, this was about a few things I've done that is apparantly wrong.

I got my first tattoo only what, a couple of months ago and I'm going to get a second. She actually consented to me getting the tattoo done in the first place, all of a sudden it's an issue. Apparantly I need to get my head sorted, so i don't apparantly use the adrenalin from being inked. When i told her I didn't need my head sorted, I was told I was being in denial. Thus erupted into me starting to get pissed off, because she actually sat there and told me how I should feel.

My future career in body piercing was also brought up. I was told there wasn't much point because it isn't a stable enough income. I can do body piercing as a sideline and still keep my every day job, it's not as if I haven't thought about the practicalities of it. I have more than a thousand times, but still it isn't good enough.

Then it erupted into money issues. Apparantly I'm drinking alcohol too much, spending too much time with older friends. Hold on a second, I'm almost eighteen, those older friend's happen to be genuine and are the best things I have right now. Second of all, I don't drink my wages away. I go out every weekend, saturday night and friday night, sometimes I'm drunk, sometimes I'm tipsy, sometimes I'm still sober by two AM.

So what's the issues?

I've taken her opinions into account, yet she treats mines as if they aren't worth a damn. I know what I want out of life, living it the way I am feels great after so much time in hiding from the real world. It seems to me it doesn't matter what I do, it's nowhere near good enough. I'm sick of trying to get along, I'm sick of trying to keep the peace because I feel that it's always me who is giving into a " compromise" but these compromises always work out better for her. The other day she told me she wanted me to move out, so of course I started looking for flats, ones in which I can't afford but I at least looked. When I tell her I think I've found somewhere, she hits the roof, completely slates me for taking it the wrong way.

But why should I have to get her approval for everything? Clothes, haircuts, who i hang out with? This isn't my life anymore, It's her life.

* Sorry I know it was a bit rambled up.