On the Razor's Edge

I screwed them over? How did I screw them over?
The only thing that's been happening to me since almost freaking March is I've been getting screwed over by so many people.
How did I screw them over?
I was stupid, and they used me, and yet I screwed them over?
I'm so done with this, it's just, my summer was going great, amazing, and then, I find this out.
I'm afraid to go back now, I can't hide from them at school, I can at home but not at school.
If I end up breaking down in front of anyone I'm blaming them.

She used me for a freaking verbal punching bag and a good time, and yet I screwed her over?
I put up with so much crap from her and getting yelled at from everyone just so she could yell/vent at me when something wasn't going perfect.
I got tired of it, and stopped talking to her, I wasn't going to take it anymore because she almost took me back to a time in my life I never want to re-live.
But I screwed her over?

I need to talk to someone but everyone's asleep, and the few people who are awake I can't talk to about things like this. They either don't care, are busy, or I don't know them well enough to start crying while talking to them.

I just don't understand how I screwed them over.
I've been used for so many fucking good times, and I let everyone walk all over me so they could feel better about themselves, just for them to go back and say I screwed them over and used them because I got tired of it and grew a backbone?
I want to go back to Larkspur so badly, none of this would have never have happened if I would have stayed there.
I can't go back to that school now. I can't put my actual friends through my self-pity and problems.
I just wish I had never have found this out.
Something you're just better off not knowing.

Razor's Edge by William Control is helping me a lot more than people would think William Control could help a person.
It's just, something. It's helping me more than I could have imagined.
Thanks, WIL, thanks so much.
August 30th, 2009 at 09:51am