Well... First if all, my mom wants me to be perfect at everything. But, it's hard, ya know? To be perfet, I mean. She expects me to get straight A's, be involved in all the school activities, have 167849264927482 friends(exaggeration, but still, she wants a lot), and the worst thing: she expects me to forget my dreams and follow hers. It's like I'm living her life, except better than her's. I'm a f*cking cheerleader for God's sake!!! I don't want very many friends, as I tend to get angry easily and blow up at people. And I could do without the constant studying, as well. But give up my dreams? The woman must be on crack to think I would give up my dreams for her!!! I love my mom, but I just can't deal with the stress of trying to be perfect.
What she wants:Bleach blonde, perfect vision, sickly skinny, head cheerleader, first honor roll, popular, loads of friends, and a professional gymnast
What I want:Rainbow hair, glasses(as I have and love), chubby and happy, the pep club would be enough for me, second honor roll would be awesome too, and a bassist in a famous band
Two completely different people, if you ask me. She's half the reason I turned to cutting last year. And I'm so sick of her yelling at me to try harder, and be better than everyone else because she knows I can when I don't really want to be!!! I just wanna... Scream!!! And then drown myself in my music and hugs from my sister.
Oh my sister, the only one who really knows how I feel. The one I can trust anything with. The one who gives the most amazing hugs. My best friend!!! And... She's moving out. And getting married. She'll be like two hours away!!! What am I gonna do when I need a hug? What am I gonna do when I wanna talk in person? What am I gonna do when I just need her?
My world is litterally coming to an ending point. No more peppermint and GAP purfume scented hugs. No more dreams. No more Sara...
It's just a vent, okay? I needed to get my thoughts out and my sister isn't here!!!
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