When hope goes away in the worst day of my life

OK...you may be thinking that im depressed but no , im not is just that I need to talk to somebody. Have you ever fell like nobody loves you(obviosly your family,they love you) but other people. In my school i don't have a lot of friend,true friends but thats from kindergarden so you get used to it. That's because I like thing that a lot of people don't like, um... for example i love to read and sing, but in m school READING is a bad word and they don't like when I sing. I never had a boyfriend before but as you can guess i have a crush. Is my best friend. I like him because he is caring,he painted,he is somebody that you can talk to, he loves his family and a lot of thing including that he has brown eyes(and i am a big sucker for brown eyes). I was really excited about it but one day all comes to the ground. I had a BFF call Jennifer, she was like my sister, and 1 year ago(8th grade) it was September, I remembered like it was yesteday. We were in the Cafeteria and my crush was in the table next to us and she call him and he came to us, she said: "I have a 'love letter from diana, she loves you". I was shock, and she take that time to go table by tble telling every single soul in that place my secret. When I react it was to late,everybody was talking about and my crush was looking at me with those eyes that he have when his has a lot of emotions. I want after her and when I catch her I start kicking her, two fiends of mine came to help me to control because I was so angry. When I get to my house, my mom tells me that she want to excersice in the gym, so she left the house. I started crying like a baby for a guy for the first time i my life, I cried for 2 hours. The next day he wasn't talking to me, he didn't aswer my calls or text for 8 months, you know how torture is to have to past your day without my best friend. Obviosly Jennifer is not my friend any more but I fell alone, even if my best friend talks to me again but this is the number 3 that say no to me and it fells horrible and the worst thing is that I see himand talk to him in the phone for hours all the days. I fell like if I have to change for a guy, it doesn't worth it. I wanna beleive in me but I don't know how.......