Thursday, September 03, 2009 *Copied and Pasted.
I've always loved reading stories and have made them up almost as long as I can remember. We all do, as kids. Then an author visited my Primary School when I was about 10 and inspired me to start writing them down and I had a wee series of stories about Ruby the Rat, who was an FBI agent. It was good fun.
But anyway, my point is, I love to write. I do it all the time. If I'm not physically typing the story (or reading someone else's) I'm thinking about them. I live in the stories sometimes: something on the TV sparked an idea and I've missed the rest of the episode; my brother's been talking to me and I haven't noticed; my mind's wandered in class and I've had to read up on what the teacher had been talking about; a customer has inspired me and I've given them the wrong change. You get the point. Ideas are usually running thorugh my mind so fast I'm scrambling to find something to write/type them on.
Until recently.
Recently I've been plagued by what a lot of people would call Writer's Block. Depending on your definition of it. See, I still have the ideas, I just can't write the buggars down. It just doesn't come out properly. I just sit there with the BCOD (Blinking Curser of Doom) driving me mental. The backspace key is used more than any other. My nails have been bitten until they've started seperating from the skin.
Okay, I think, I've just been focusing too much on one story for too long. Try something else. So I do. A completely new story that's been in my head for a while, only, this time, I'm met with the BPOD (Blank Page of Death) AND the BCOD. Neither of which I want to meet down a metaphorical dark alleyway, never mind both.
It's round about now my confidence starts to waver. Am I just not cut out to be a writer? Am I not as gifted with words as I once believed I was? Are my stories just no good? I start to think that I've chosen the wrong course at Uni (Film-Making & Screenwriting, with the screenwriting part being the main attraction) before I even get there, because, if I can't write, can't be creative, I'm only going to fail. Maybe I should have went with astrophysics after all. I can do academic, I just prefer creative. Should you listen to your grades - AAAAAB where the B is English - when they tell you you'll do better at science or maths than you ever will at writing? Well, should I?
You've no idea how much I want the answer to be No. The thing is, I know the answer is No. I know I can be a brilliant writer if I just get the words on the page. It just seems to be seeing past the BPOD and the BCOD and seeing the words that is the problem. So, what can I do to get past this stage? I have no idea. Last time it happened, I stopped writing for almost a year. I do not want that to happen again.
Since the trick is to just write and since the stories aren't coming, I thought, let's write in my blog. I don't have to think of a story, the story is already there, it's already happened. I just need to write it down. And what could be a better way to start than writing about not being able to write?
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to write a blog about why you are writing a blog.
With any luck it will have unlocked my words once again.
I can only hope.
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