Ok, so I've been depressed for what will be 12 weeks tomorrow. My heart still bleeds all over the place, it's just I put on the happy face a lot since I know people want me to be happy. Truth be told, I'm not 100% ok. I feel numb, alone, lost, everything. And I'll still cry which I'm not afraid to admit since I did lose a huge part of my life 12 weeks ago.
Through all the saddness, the one thing that seems to be keeping me sane besides listening to his music and watching his videos, is Janet's music. Janet Jackson, the one person that I got into because of Michael. I've been a fan of hers and inspired by her a bit through music and style but lately, it's her music that's beginning to help. I find myself dancing a lot to Janet, just letting go and being able to clear my head of anything bad or negative.
Some people would say it's just the dancing but I don't know, it's like with Janet's music, I feel like there's someone out there and it helps. It's just calming, soothing, it's hard to explain unless you've really experienced what I'm talking about.
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