Character Closeness

Hello my fellow Mibbians!
I have never been interested in writing journals before, but this is my second in 2 days. Very, very strange.

Anyway....

Have any of you ever ruined a story?
I have, and it is very depressing.
My story is called 'Prince of the Damned'. It started it in the winter of grade 9, which would be 2 years ago. It was originally this little story about two boys meeting in an insane asymlum [can'tspell], and falling in love.
Then, my imagination took over.

Landen, my dear sweet Landen, stole my heart.
He has improved my character development so much.
Over the past 2 years, I have created him. He is Prince Alexander, heir to the throne of Saphiria. He hates his original name, so he goes by one of his middles, Landen. He didn't turn out how I originally expected, but I love him just the same.
This story was predicted to be my best ever.

But...I went too far.
I can't help it, really. I know him too well. He's a real person. I might be insane, but I feel as if he is actually out there somewhere. He is definitely in my mind.
Every little thing reminds me of him.
What inspired this journal is the song Saint Veronika, by Billy Talent. I relate it to him so well, and I developed a new scene without even thinking about it.
I can picture his life so clearly. I know everything about him. His every action, his every thought, his every emotion.

In fact, I know everything about his life. Even things I didn't create. His mother, Queen Esmerelda. His father, King Alexander. His sister, Anastasia [Ana]. His brother, Actavious. His dead twin, Alexis [Lexi]. His boyfriend, Ryan. His new friends. Carissa. Cole. Toren. D.K. Bryce. Everything that has ever happened to him. I know.

and I just can't write it.

It's beyond my skill. Actually, beyond anyone's skill. It's impossible.

It breaks my heart to know Landen's story will never be put into print. But, I simply cannot do it.

I'm sure I'm not making any sense. I wouldn't, unless you've been in this situation yourself.

Do you have any stories, dear readers?
Have you ever went too far in character development?

I know Landen will always remain with me, even if the details get fuzzy with age. He'll always be there. I'm just sorry he can't infect your minds also.