I hate this day.

Seriously; I hate it so much. I mean; one thing is that our group is falling apart! I haven't ever dreamed of this to happen; but it just did.

You'd sort of get this if you have read my previous entries.

Anyway, here's how it goes. B's avoiding S because she likes him. And, she's been lying about the whole, 'I'm leaving' thing. She's also making so MUCH excuses. It's getting real annoying. I mean, last friday, we were going to go to my friend, K's house. But then, she goes, "Oh, let's just go to N's house." And, she even asked N if we can go. And she even asked HER mom. I told K about this, and she got real pissed. I also told S about this, and he got even more pissed at her. It's been three weeks since they've both spoken to each other. Make that FOUR. And, they're even best of friends! Sometimes, I don't get why she has to cause so MUCH drama.

Another one is that my friend, H, is calling our group, the 'evacuation center' for all those people who get ditched. And, well, she's referring to N, T, and well, maybe me too. Because last year I didn't hang around with them as much as the year before. B's saying that she was also ditched, so she has no right to say that. Everything real confusing right now.

And, a while ago, it was as if S, and K are... well... let's say... excluding me. I don't know. It's just that whenever I'm around them I have these bad vibes that make it seem as if I don't belong there. That I'm not supposed to know what they're talking about.

As much as I feel like talking to them, I have this gut clenching feeling inside of me, that's saying that I shouldn't. That it's actually going to be a bad idea. That maybe nothing's going to change. I mean, if I DO tell them, they might talk about it and make rude comments when I'm not around.

I feel real insecure about it, and it's as if I can't trust anyone anymore. As if everyone around me can't be that much trusted.

They're my best friends, even if I don't tell them everything, because I keep most of my life private from any one else, it doesn't feel as if it's like that. Sometimes, I can have a really good laugh with them. And most of the time I'd feel as if I'd want to just stay in those happy times forever.

I just don't know anymore. It feels as if I'm the one who's stuck in the middle of this all. It's good that L and D don't know about this. That they're just okay around all of us.

I feel like I'm in the middle of everything. That sometiems I don't know who to side with. I guess, it's best to stay out of it. For good.

I really don't know. My mind's going blank. I swear, it is. :(

Well, out of all of this, I have some good news. Me, and V are sort of okay already. I mean, she walked up to me a while ago, and was all, "I miss you already!" And she gave me a hug. And well, left. Because it was time. And, at least I know that we aren't mad at each other and stuff like that. Because most of the time she would snob me, when I pass. And, stuff like that. But, disregard that. At least there's something good that turned up today. :)

Another one, is that I was able to talk to Trisha once more. She's the only one I didn't change names. :D Well, I did change the spelling. :) Because she always spells my name wrong. I think she does that intentionally.