Resorting to me

I closed my eyes.
Yours were open, and I could feel this.
Feel your heart, your warmth, your stare, your hands, breath, body.
I could feel your pity.
It isn’t that you didn’t want me.
How could I have been so foolish?
With so much past experience I should have known the reason.
You were still there.
No longer staring.
Force what you already know from me.
Grab my shoulders, and shake.
Lay down beside me, and ask.
Wrap your legs around my waist, and wait out my fight.
I need those pathetic reassurances at this moment.
I am feeling so inadequate.
I am feeling you again.
Touching, kissing, breathing.
This isn’t killing me, but it isn’t pushing me forward.
I open my eyes.
Your not beside me.
What’s running through my head?
I know what is running through yours.
And that is beginning to kill me.
You didn’t exactly say goodbye, but I can’t help thinking this is where it’s going
How did number one priority, become your favorite second resort?