likeitmatters whining to a computer screen!

Mood: Meh.
Currently listening to: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison.

Today has been one of my notorious Blue Days.

What’s one of those? You ask.

It’s these days when I get really low and my self-esteem plummets for no apparent reason. Believe me when I say it: they’re horrible.

I didn’t go outside once yesterday.

I’ve been ill.

I have an essay on Othello to finish - get this, I have to look for implications that Iago loves Othello! I think my teacher’s a bigger gay-lover than me!

It’s been a bad day even though technically nothing bad’s happened.

I’ve been feeling really worthless and unimportant. It feels like I don’t really matter to anyone. It’s not a nice feeling and I’ve been trying to come up with reasons to not feel that way!

Even Mibba’s been depressing me lately. Mainly because of the lack of readers and comments I’ve been receiving over the last couple of years - it’s like some people click on the story, follow it for a bit and then stop reading when they realize there’s no swearing or graphic sex scenes (this is no fault of my own, my parents only agreed to let me writing if I didn’t include that sort of thing any more). It’s depressing and, while I’ve tried to ignore it, I’ve been getting lower and lower about it and begun questioning my writing ability (something I really shouldn’t be doing when I’m working on my first novel).

Urgh, I feel bad. I’ve been sniffing vaporub like a sheepy eats grass. Constantly.
I’ve eaten virtually nothing.
I’ve had basically no sleep because, although I‘m exhausted, I can‘t sleep.

And I swear my Media teacher has it in for me - just thought of that as I was reminding myself what lessons I have today. She’s always been a b***h since I started there. Admittedly, I don’t like her either but that’s her fault for behaving the way she does toward me and other individuals (singling us out, victimising us, arriving in a bad mood and taking it out on us, suggesting ideas for our work then denying it and completely slating our work). I hate that woman, she’s unprofessional and a bully. Thank God my other Media teacher’s nice.

Media’s an amusing lesson. We’re studying Film. I’m making a music video *proud*. But I sit behind these two girls who are doing a “horror film” trailer. All I hear from them is:

Ohhhhmigawwwwwd I’m gonna have to buy soooooooo much fake blood!

Ohhhhhhmigawwwwwwd we need to star in this! We’ll be the last to die!

Ohhhhhmigawwwwd we should so do that *annoying high pitched laugh and bizarre facial expressions*

How can someone die in a forest?

Basically, horror’s are all about lots of blood and people dying, right? - Yes, they actually said that. I couldn’t help but giggle snort at that. I mean, generically, yes, that’s true but not all horror’s are blood guts and gore. The only examples I can think of at the moment are ‘The Shining’ and ‘Hide and Seek‘. Yeah, basically, there’s more to horror than blood. Take the film Lost Boys 2: The Tribe for example: full of violence and blood and heads being ripped off but it’s about as scary as Mary Poppins.

Speaking of Media projects, I’m gonna’ be dying in a five minute thriller film that my friend’s making. I get shot. Should be fun, especially as someone has to “drown” in a paddling pool. ‘Cause you never know when your paddling pool’s had enough of being an object of amusement, eh?

On the positive side: we have a microwave in the student centre now! It was christened by a microwave curry! Super-noodles here I come! Completely random, eh? I was complaining, saying we needed a microwave and then a bunch of guys wander in casually with it and set it up. It’s also decorated by a random glowing globe. Cool, huh?

I should probably stop whining to a computer screen now, right?

Erm, hello?

H-hello?

OHHH NOOOOOOOOOO! I’ve bored everyone to death! NOT GOOD! I’m a murderer!

*Produces crash trolley and revives everyone*

Okay. Don’t scare me like that! I’m too young for prison!

Okay.

Zoom zoom!
xo