Because All Suffering Is Sweet To Me

Do you know hard it is to be in love with your best friend? To listen to all his problems, to hear all about his whores of the week, and about how they hurt him, and how much it hurts to him that he can't find a girl whose good enough not to hurt him. Do you know how bad it rips me apart for him not to open his eyes, and see me right in front of him? If he was with me, he wouldn't get hurt. If he was with me, everything would be better. If he was with me... If. That's all I can say, is if. Because I don't have the courage to say when, or will. I don't have the esteem to say that it will work out between him and I, and that he'll fall for me at least a fraction of how much I fell for him. People are always telling him and I that we should date, but I don't think he listens... I don't think he cares. He says he does, but I think it just passes right through him. I wish I could just be good enough. Just this once, to at least make him happy. Because, with him, for me, being friends just isn't good enough. When I'm sitting with him, it takes all my will power not to just simply grab his hand. I have to walk away from him sometimes, just so I won't do something I'll regret. Am I never going to be good enough for him? Am I never going to be good enough to make him genuinely happy? Screw my happiness. He's my world, and as long as he's happy, then I'll be fine. Because he's what I care about. He's what I live for. He's why I smile, why I laugh, why I cry, why I breath, why I get up in the morning, why I try to be a better person, why I live... And I'm his nothing. Other than his friend. And that's all I could ever be. He's so perfect, and I'm so... far from it. If he was the sun, then I'd be Pluto. If wishes do come true, then why is my heart still hurting from him?