ok. im just going to have a bitch about stuff thats really pissing me off now, copz im sick of people butting in and changing stories around to make others look like the bad ones instead of the real culprits.
my and my friends form school used ot be real fucking close, as in so close we were always together. but as soon as loz started dating paul, we fell apart. i couldnt care less that theyre going out, its their choice, its the fact that they were always going off and leaving us in the dinner hall, or never wanting to come out wiht us, and even if they did, it would always be them, and then us following along like little sheep.
i mean, ok, we get it, your in love, but do you really think that were gonna stay close friends if you never spend time with us or if you ditch us? no, were not. and then, whenever me and nathan went round pauls and loz was there, they would be over the corner, kissing and they would completely forget we were there. no offence, coz i love my friends, but thats rude and completely unneccasery. if they dont want us there, tell us.
the other thing thats pissing me off is that loz's sister is doing the whole 'real-friends-wouldnt-ditch-their-friends-and-bitch-about-them' thing, well im sorry to say this, but erin, shut the fuck up, because it was loz and paul who ditched us in school, we just didnt say anything coz we wanted to keep the group together. and as for blaming devinia and nathan and all them for bitching about loz and paul, that was me, i gt angry, i said things, it doesnt mean i dont still love loz, coz i do, but that doesnt make it right for her to leave us then blame us.
and now, on top of all that, nathan feels like im pulling away from him, when im not, i just dont want top go down his if he has homework, coz i know im distracting and i dont want him to become behing in his coursework. i feel like a complete bitch over that fact, but that just me. there is nothing i can do about it. i miss all my friends, i see becky 2 tims a week, nathan basically once a month now, and loz and paul, never. the only person i do see is davinia and that coz were on the same course.
im so sick of being made to feel like me, bex, dave or nathan are doing something wrong, or like this is all our fault when all we did was try to keep the group together, well, if what loz and erin want is for us to stop being friends, the fine, ill go, i wont even aknowledge loz or pauls or daves or even nathans existance if it means you'll all stop fighting. coz you were all perfectly fine until i came here, so if itsme, fine blame me, but dont fucking take it out on people who did fuck all, because its not them.
i know this sounds very self pity-ish, but i dont give a fuck. it was me that started the bitching, it was me that kept asking nathan and dav to come out, and not asking loz or paul, so dont blame nathan or the others. its my fault, so fucking blame me.
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