Pressure to fit in, vs. pressure to be unique.

It's really pretty funny how some kids are so horrified of being 'unoriginal', and of having any association with 'popular' things, that they actually say things like, "Well, I was going to say ____, but that would have been unoriginal! *shudder*" Come on, how sad can you get? When you start thinking like that, that's when you let the things you hate and don't want to be, control you. When those things become the dictating force behind your every thought and word and action, because you're so afraid of becoming that, you have to constantly be on guard that you aren't.

You think, I have to be unique. You condition and program your thoughts to be what you think is funny and random and unique. You fear being conventional more than anything else. Maybe you're listening to a song on a Top 40 station, and find your foot tapping along. You stop, horrified at yourself - you're actually liking a popular song. Can you possibly forgive yourself? The scandal!

Maybe this isn't you. Who knows. I have no idea who could be reading this, or even if anyone is caring to read this. But this is what I used to be. I was desperate to fit in in elementary school, and then I realized my mistake and became desperate to stand out in middle school. This was the exact opposite mistake and now I'm only desperate to not be ruled by anything besides me. It's not easy for me. But I hate seeing people that are who I was and don't want to be again.

So I guess it comes down to this - If you like MCR and really, genuinely like them, blast them proudly. If you like Britney Spears and really, genuinely like her, blast her proudly. Your friends will understand either way. If they don't, they're probably not your friends. Otherwise, just don't - because you'll be playing music so people see you playing that certain music and approve of you, and not truly for yourself. And music is meant to be personal, it's meant to be for you. Not to be used to gain the approval of others, or to convince yourself you belong in a certain group when secretly, you know you might be fooling yourself.

Amen, I guess.