Boys... Why Did I Bother?

I feel sick.
And disgusting.
I feel thrown away...
Like I'm just something he didn't want anymore.
And I promised myself that I was only seeing him for a good time.
And then he had to go and say he loves me.
And I knew he didn't!
Then I had to go and tell him that I love him too.
And I knew that I didn't!
But slowly... I did start to feel something for him.
I should have known that when he started avoiding me it was over.
Even though I didn't know the reason why.
And a part of me knew that we were finished.
But I couldn't help but hope that we weren't!
And I...
I can't even cry.
I just feel numb and thrown away by him.
When he asked me out I shouldn't have bothered.
I knew that it wasn't worth it.
Why did I hope that he was?
Why did he have to prove to me that he wasn't?