The Bottle Cap Who Wanted To Be An Extremely Hot Vampire; nothing was resolved in this edition

Okay so, if you are a loving reader you'll remember the Edwardian translator maybe two stories back? Well she loved that. And now she is going to help me co-write another great Bottlecap tale. Here it goes.
THIS JUST IN MY COMPUTER"S AN ANNOYING SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
That Weird Girl Named Kaz
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we left our heros they were standing outside of Gabe Saporta's mansion. Well, they didn't do that for long. Cause it's cold. So in order to save the world they went inside to avoid catching swine flu or mad cow disease. Or just getting cold.
recap:
THIS JUST IN GABE SAPORTA HAS NEVER SAVED THE WORLD!!!!!!
"Your face has never saved the world." Gabe Saporta mummbled angrily
"Gabe! Attenion to save the world!" Bobette screamed
You see the duo had called a meeting over all the most important people in Kazi Story Land. So now crammed into the little mansion (hahaha that makes no sense!!!) was Lil Angelo Wupkins, Gabe Saporta, Bobette, TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget, Leah and Kt the cowboy. Marina called in with swine flu (she secretly just didn't want to come and be around a bunch of Kazi infested weirdos).
"Well, the world is getting stupider. Which means we have to kill the author." TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget said sadly.
"Oh dang." Leah and Kt the cowboy exclaimed
"This is going to be hard." Bobette muttered.
"We need to trap her." Lil Angelo Wupkins annouced
"GABE SAPORTA!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marina screamed from her house where she was indulging herself in Gossip Girl.
"Was that god calling my name?" Gabe Saporta asked
Bobette shook her head, "Yes, Gabe that gilry high pitched Gossip Girl obsessed voice was god. Because he totally waists his time watching Blake Lively looking hot and being scandelous."
THIS JUST IN THE AUTHOR CAN'T SPELL
Wow, thank you TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget for shooting me in the heart.
"WHAT????" the group annouced, "SHE"S DEAD???? YES!!!!!"
Metaphorically, guys, metaphorically dead.
"Damn." Lil angelo Wupkins whispered sorrowfully.
"You guys are morons all you have to do is use GABE SAPORTA to trap her!!!!!!!" God ahem Marina ahem yelled
"I know! we should use an extremely hot guy to trap the author! But who?" Gabe Saporta asked
"I know! I know! Taylor Lautner!" TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget screamed
"MORON" Marina annouced
"I think god wants us to use Gabe Saporta." Lil Angelo Wupkins said before they could anger 'god' again.
"THANK YOU" God yelled
"Aww but i alreadly stole Taylor Lautner from the new moon set what do i do with him???" TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget whined
"Kill him." Bobette offered
"Rape him!" Kt suggested
"Take him prisoner and stare at him all stalkery like!" Leah cheered
"Or you could let me go." Taylor said from the potato sack he was stuffed in, not liking the other options
"Shut up, you don't get a say! Mwahhahahahaha!" a power hungry TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget laughed
"YOU SHOULD PLAY RING AROUND THE ROSEY AND THEN WATCH GOSSIP GIRL." And since god instructed it, it was done.
"Everybody halt! We still have to stop the spread of stupidity!" Bobette annouced.
"Damn. Sorry god, we have immeadiate worries to take care of." Leah said
"Okay, someone find Gabe!" Bobette instructed
And so every single person in Kazi Story Land set off to play the biggest game of hide and go seek any of them had ever encounter. Mostly because hide and seek was illegal, out lawed after Gabe Saporta broke a nail on the monkey bars.
"GABE HAS BEEN SMITED!!!!!" the actual, no joke, not Marina god annouced.
"Oh dang." Kt and Leah whispered
El Fin
With Gabe Saporta smited and stupidity still spreading, how will they ever kill me? What do they do with Taylor Launter? And will TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget ever write with me again? None of this has to do with you but you can comment and suggest anyway, I might actually listen if it's any good. Stay tuned, I might reveal TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget's name someday over the rainbow.
A word from TranslatorwhoIwillnotbenamedinfearofbeingattackedbysaidangrymidget:
Justin Beiber sounds like a girl! Listen to owl city!