Just want some attention

It all begins inside the doors of Kennedy High School.

To me, school was a six hour scheduled activity that I have endured for the past ten years. Nothing more, and nothing less than just that. Sure I had friends there to pass the time when I wasn't doing something productive, but it was all really just an unamusing show for me. It was part of life, and I wasn't going to be able to ever get out of it until AFTER college (like my parents said), so I have to go on like it doesn't bother me.

Freshman year- a new start, a new school, and new classes. Much different classes that I was used to at a small Catholic private school. There are new faces, new teachers, a totally new environment.

One of my classes...art.

Art was the one way of running away without leaving home. I had it every single day (except for Mondays, when I to take a Science lab), and it was the one reason I didn't mind going to school. Sure, there was alot of work to do during the day and when i got back at home. sure there were so many stuck up and bitchy people that I really couldn't stand on a day-to-day basis. Hell, there are people now that act the same way, but art made the day that less worse.

I didn't just endure school; I finally had something to look forward to. It was the one thing I can go to school knowing I don't have to worry about studying, worrying about what's for homework- we usually never had any of those things. See, though, I didn't take art to take the easiest elective that the school offered.

I took art because I LOVEd Art. It took the misery out of each school day. Sure, no one noticed freshman and sure, maybe I didn't do well in all the other classes besides art, but that's why I did so well- I did what I love and love what I did.

It was the one class where I did the best in, and I don't want to sound childish or cheesy, but its true, and there is no other way to put it- I had a 100 average- higher than the smartest girl in my class (who was also a kiss-ass and cared WAY too much about her grades), and it felt beast. :]

Sopmore year comes around, and I am officially condemned to ROOM 106, A.K.A. TAG.

TAG- Talented And Gifted. Elective, which took the place of art. What's so special about TAG, you ask? One golden word that any concerned parent wants to hear- college.

TAG, not only takes part in random ass shit that has nothing to do with any subject inparticulary, but helps you-SENIOR YEAR- to prepare for getting into colleges: writing essays, filling out applications, recommendations, etc. This is an elective that, if you decide to turn down, you cannot go back to; it's a one-shot- all or nothing.

Apparently, my parents thought it better for me to take it all.

Which meant that art was out of the question. Throughout the summer, I cried ONCE, but don't hold it against me- you would, too. trust me.

As I was saying, over the summer, it didn't seem like such a big deal. Getting back at school was another different story. At first, it didn't seem like anything; same faces, same teachers, and ALMOST the same classes. Again, except for art.

I learned, as this year went on, that life goes on, and I have to deal with it. I have to deal with a 21st century Mrs. Umbridge for english, one of my used-to-be favorite classes, and a European AP history class, which has at LEAST a quiz every week, and we go through chapters like that (snaps fingers)!

So this all sounds SO great, but the problem is... I don't ENJOY any of it. I look forward to NOTHING when I get to school, and I don't have any classes to "specialize" in. You know, the one class that you like to do and do to like? The one class where you do better than anyone else, and it makes you feel good, or accomplished, or BOTH.

The point is, without art in my life, mostly in my school, there is no point; I don't feel special anymore, I can't come to school with the same attitude. I can't say to myself, I am better than everyone else in this room, I am different than everyone else in this room- I can't shine. And don't think I'm a glamour-puss and try to steal the lime light all the time; I'm an actress, and it's just in my nature to just want some attention every once in a while.

But I've done enough pouting to myself about myself. I told myself, now, that I need to buckle down, pick a subject, and just BLOW everyone out of the water.

And my target is ENGLISH. But, that's probably a good subject to touch upon...in...a different journal.

Signed,
Allison