The dream that told me something about myself

November 13th, 2009. I had a dream, something that isn’t that unique or that special or weird. I can’t categorize or describe it in its proper words but one thing’s for sure; it’s a dream that isn’t normal. Though blurry, I could still remember some parts of it. Like how it started, how did things go and how things turned out in the end.

On the most previous part of it, was that I was shot at, by a couple of people who are somewhat like activists or robbers in my perception. I was shot behind my neck and I can still remember that someone tried to stop what will happen next. I can still recall his face, and I even know him in real life. Well, I don’t know how he had end up in my dream, but as far as I can remember, he said: “Don’t shoot him! (Me) I know him.” By the time he said the second word, the gun blasted and a bullet pierced through my neck. Everything went slow and blur. Then I felt like as if I was driven out from my body. I felt my spirit or soul leaving my physical self. I thought that I would die and somewhat like go to someplace else, but in that dream, I was just like pushed out and just continued to walk like any other person. As I walk, the things I encountered at that part slowly faded and were replaced by some people I knew. Some were special, some were not. Those people I met were mostly close to me and I hold them close. As I was slowly walking, I tend to notice that some of them just walk past me, as if I was nothing but thin air. Some of them greeted me and stopped for a while. I can’t remember each and every one of them. I felt special in some ways, though, I’m not able to speak it out and describe it in words. Then the place started to change. Next, I found myself in a middle of some kind of riot or civil unrest. As I rested my back against a brick wall, I can hear people running and screaming unrecognizable words. Some of them looked at me as if I was a helpless entity. Some of them stopped, studied me for a while and would either continue to walk or shoot at me. Next thing I remembered was that my vision flickered and my eyes went back to the scene where I was walking straight continuously and those people I know went opposite my direction. For a little while, I observed that all of them won’t listen or notice me anymore. I felt a fear in my chest when I thought, “I really died. What else can I do now? I would probably start to rot and be forgotten in just a few months or days. Those people will continue to live their lives, forgetting me and those who they loved and passed away.” My heart wanted to scream in the ears of those I met. Deep down I knew that at that moment, I’m starting to fade away, starting to feel what those who passed away probably felt. As I was thinking these things, another thought came out that it pushes me to cry. My emotions by that time were indescribable. After a little while, my vision went back to the unrest. The raged continue and after that part, all I can remember was blur then a while would turn clear, then would blur again. I really thought I died that day.

After a while my dream vanished to nothingness. I woke up in the humidity of the air. I can feel my sweat as the sun went to its 8:00 A.M. position in the sky. It was a terrible dream, yet I still had the chance to learn something. Something more often refused by my brain to become a thought.: The idea of being forgotten. I never thought I’m that scared to die.