Happy news.
I already knew this, since that five years has turned into twelve, I've just never really admitted it to myself. I always thought if I took my medicine, consumed little to no salt and ate properly that it would go away. I was mistaken and I'm now faced with the reality that if I really wanted to, I could go on Canadian pension, get a scholarship because of this disability, I'm also now a part of my parents income taxes.
Strange thing is none of these things are really particularly bad, sure they are choices because of a bad thing, but they are not exactly going to make my life any worse. Frankly I don't find it that downing at all, on the rare chance I do tell people about my frequent visits to the hospital I always get these "That's too bad." or complete awkward silence.
The awkward silence is mostly put forth by my friends and the "That's too bad." are from family friends over the age of twenty five. I'm always confused about both of these reactions my friends in particular, if you didn't want to know why ask?
Most of the time I sugarcoat it for you and you still seem to be lost for words and want to put an end to the conversation.
"That's too bad." Actually its not. I'm not dying, I can walk, see, hear, I have hair on my head, I don't need chemo, I have no tumors, I take one pill a day not fifty, I've never had surgery, I get blood work done once a year which is also the one day I'm in the hospital.
What is bad about that?
Most people have it worse. I don't feel sorry for myself, I don't update my facebook status saying how I have to go back to the specialist in march. I keep everything in closed and in some ways that's good, this whole disease hasn't gone to my head to be an excuse to be an attention whore.
But the bad part is, I spent a week in the hospital this summer and I didn't even tell one of my friends because I didn't believe it was important enough to tell them. Plus the awkward silence I knew was going to come wasn't exactly worth the trouble.
After awhile I informed some of them of my whereabouts after they asked because they had called and hadn't been able to reach me. But I'm still telling people, I don't alert the media which pisses off my mother she thinks I'm weird because I don't want the world knowing - my friends included - that I'm in the hospital.
I guess I'm a private person, is that so bad?
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