Weird dream+need advice...

Okay, so last night I had probably about the weirdest dream ever. Hitler was still alive, and it was like World War lll or something, and I was enrolled in the German army, along with my little brother. May I mention that I'm 14 and he's eight? So, anyways, there was Hitler, this psycho little kid my brother's age, my brother and me at this kind of mall. Well, actually, it was the school basement that leads up to the auditorium, and in the basement hallway, there were several couches, and the auditorium was a food court, and a little farther away were some stores. Ad I said before, it was a weird dream. Anyways, then Hitler comes up to me and asks if he could kill my lil bro so I'm like WHAT? NO! and I'm crying and hugging my little brother, who's trying to get away from me because he doesn't know that he's going to die and then the psycho little kid starts throwing knives at my brother, and he dies in my arms. After I stop 'crying', I go sit down on the couch, and no, instead of sitting on the couch itself, I sit on freakin' Hitler's lap. So he starts feeling me up, and cups his hands around my boobs, and squeezes them... Really weird haha. Well anyways, then after I run away and I somehow get magically transported to my apartment and guess who's there? MY LITTLE BROTHER. With these really freakish gashes on his back. And then my mom woke me up for school.

Haha well that's all for my dream, thanks for reading :D Now on to the problem...

Well there's this guy who's really good looking, his name is Sebastien, but we call him Seb, and he was my entire elementary school crush, actually, all the girls liked him. I swear, there was no other guy I liked more than him. Then he left in fifth grade, and comes back again in sixth grade*we go to a really small private school, so it's Kindergarten to twelfth grade*. I had stopped liking him again, and started going through these other guys, one of which that actually liked me back, and another who I think liked me back, but a bunch of shit happened so we never got together.

Just a few weeks ago he found out that I write sex*yes, I'm fourteen and yes I read and write sex*, so he asked to see my stuff. We had a small fight*we were in the back of the class*, he was trying to get my notebook out of my hands and successfully did so. Thank God there wasn't anything in the notebook that I had, but he asked to see some more stuff so I eventually had to give him something, because he kept pestering me to read some of my stuff. I entered this contest 'so you have a fetish' and I got blindfolded and handcuffed. I've never actually read that kind of stuff before, so I asked Seb if he looked at some S&M, and he said yeah, but it didn't really turn him on because 'that shit is just too sick for me' but he said I should use a lot of... Vocabulary.

I wrote about half of it, not having got to the sex scene part yet, and he said that it was really good, that it didn't seem like it was written by a fourteen year old girl, but by an adult, and I should get it published. That's when I started falling for him again. When my best friend Sara and I were talking about guys, she was like 'I really hate how all the girls are all like oh my God Seb is so cute!' and she noticed that I looked away and said 'oh, Sandrine, please don't tell me that you like him' and I lied and said I didn't. None of my friends know I like him, and it really pains me, but I know that they'll probably criticize me, like they do with almost every guy I like... Any advice?

Thanks for reading this shit,
Sandrine