my first love...

He was my guy best friend back in fourth grade - even when he was two years senior to me, we could relate to each other. We didn't really say we were "best friends" but we need not to, since we hung out all the time - what else would you call that??

Everyday after school, we'd meet. We'd be sitting beside each other on a post in our school grounds or by the waiting shed - talking, laughing and joking around, if not that, just sitting there, beside each other in silence and it didn't feel awkward, not one bit.

Our friendship was getting stronger and we were getting more needy of each other. He knew all my problems, secrets, favorites and other stuff and vice versa.... what he didn't know though, was that I was slowly but surely falling for him.

He was a bit arrogant and stubborn but if you looked deeper, he was actually really nice, and smarter than he looks and you expect him to be, he showed his sweetness in his own little ways, he loved his little brother deeply and he made it obvious that he cared for him too.

I was too scared to tell him about my feelings, so I expressed it on a song. And when I finished writing it and first played it - that's when I knew it, I wasn't just falling for him now, I was in love with him.

I told no one but my girl best friend about this, only her - no one else.

But my classmates started to get suspicious about my actions towards my guy best friend, and they all decided to come to the conclusion that I liked him. They teased me constantly, even when he was around me. And they teased me even more when they heard the song that I made because my girl best friend couldn't help but sing my catchy song.

But he just ignored them and let their words pass through his ears which I was very thankful for. . . But when a certain someone informed him about the song I made - he asked me about it and I told him the truth...

Everything went downhill ....

He started to ignore me and soon we started to ignore each other- like as if we lived in different worlds, like as if our friendship never even existed.

Four years has passed now. I moved to a different school and he moved to a different country.
Earlier today, I stumbled upon his facebook and realized how much I truly miss him. T_T

He was my first love.