It doesn't matter baby.

Well, I've never written one of these bad boys beffore... I find it kind of weird. I never had a diary as a kid or anything - I was encouraged to keep my thoughts and feelings to my self (maybe that's why I'm so antisocial?).

But to the point of this - I'm so bored. Not the 'I have nothing to do all day' kind of bored, it's the 'I'm bored of my goddamn life'.

I'm Siobhaan (Hi!). I'm neat, I'm tidy, I have my compulsions and my routines. I don't eat much 'cause I like that hungry feeling. I drink a lot because I like that drunk feeling. I smoke too - marlboro reds ;). I have loads of friends but no actual friends. Despite all the brain cells I'm killing off with all the alcohol I drink I'm still kinda clever. I have an opinion on EVERYTHING. Even stupid things. I go out of my way to ruin my mothers husbands (he is NOT my stepdad - I still have my dad!) day. I cannot believe in a god. I have never, will never, be satisfied with my appearence or comfortable in my own body. All my boyfriends have been idiots; I have yet to meet a boy that actually interests me.

That's the truth.

I can't help but wish it went a little more like...

I'm Siobhaan. I'm impossible to define. I'm funny. I'm comfortable within myself. I'm normal. I don't have any issues and I'm not accused of eating dissorders or drinking problems. I like me. I'll be that girl you'll never forget.

But I can't write that - 'cause It just isn't true.