Just a peek inside my mind

I hide behind my many masks. I show what is appropriate for each moment in time. Never truly happy, always showing a disguise. I've always lived this way. Always scared to show the real me. No one knows me, I won't let them. I pretend to be happy just to make my close friends happy. But even in my group of friends, I'm still on the outside. I listen, I observe, I don't join in. That's just my nature. I am the silent observer. I pay attention to every detail to know how to better my mask and make it more believable. I only wish someone could know me. But I am too afraid to tell them straight out. That's why I am writing a biography of sorts in hopes that someone will understand my pain. I've always hid it, but no matter how much I try to ignore it, it's always there. Eating away at my insides until I break.