Many of my fans (not just on this website) have asked if I will co-write a story with them. I fell bad telling them no but I must for two reasons, the first being: I am completely writing on my own schedule, and as much as I would LOVE to collaborate with someone else with ideas, but I can't bring myself to stay super structured and get what I need done on time.
The other reason is best described with an example. (This is not an exaggeration). When I was little I would always write stories, I would write during class, during play time, during nap-time, and any time that seemed to let me get caught. I was scolded for writing so much.
Anyway, one day our teacher had a project for us and pared me with a boy in class and told us that everyone was going to come up with a story together, but you had to take turns writing every other sentence, or every other word, or every few words. They were supposed to be silly stories. I was paired with the most aggrivating kid in the class that didn't complete any work or didn't apply himself. Because my teacher knew how much I loved writing she thought it would be a good idea to put me with the most rebelious student becuase she figured things would get accomplished. She underestimated my passion for writing and thought it was a hobby for me, not a lifestyle choice (ha ha ha I kid. but seriously).
So I couldn't work my way out of it, and I was FINALLY going to get to write during class time without being scolded, so I was excited and nothing was going to stop me from creating a masterpiece, and I figured if he was going to not attmept anything it would be simple enough to correct or change the store he wrote. This is how our story went (I started)
me= lower case
him= CAPITOL LETTERS
Once there was SOMETHING DEAD.
(Great so we started off horribly, but I figured I could manuver my way around it, after all it WAS an interesting way to start off a story..... I was NOT going to lose). So it was once again my turn.
Once there was SOMETHING DEAD. It was sad because IT WAS RUN OVER BY A FAT COW.
(We were only allowed to write 1- 9 words at a time, I didn't know how I could be able to fix such a disaster if every thing sentence was going to end with a pathetic flourish) but I continued.....
Once there was SOMETHING DEAD. It was sad because IT WAS RUN OVER BY A FAT COW. A girl came over and saw DEADNESS!
(I believe I can't explain much more how this story is going to turn out- so here is the whole thing without much commentary)
(I actually wrote the word no..... to tell him that his writing was unnaceptable... we weren't allowed to talk during this exercise...it was 'imagination time only')
me- lower case
him- UPPER CASE
Once there was SOMETHING DEAD. it was sad because IT WAS RUN OVER BY A FAT COW. A girl came over and saw DEADNESS! She was DEAD. no! She DIES! never ever, LIVING! I'm crying on the inside. BOO HOO! MARSHMALLOW SMOOTHIES FOR EVERYONE! what are you talking about? somethig is dead, and YOU WROTE TOO MANY WORDS IT IS MY TURN TO WRITE! you wrote too many words too. you are RUINING MY LIFE. I WANT CHOCOLATE. maybe chocolate will make your fingers too fat to write and I'll get to write this on my own. YOUR AN UGLY GIRL. you spelled 'you're' wrong. THEIRS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! HA! you spelled 'there's' wrong too. WELL WHO ASKED YOU? we are getting graded for this.
(I decided fighting wasn't going to help anything....I knew how stubborn we could both be. So I decided to write calmley and maybe he would calm down.)
WE WILL BOTH GET A BAD GRADE! i do not wish to have a bad grade. YOU'RE MOM. you spelled 'your' wrong. again. Let's start over. YOU SPELLED LETS WRONG. No I didn't. stop raising your hand! STOP RAISING YOUR HAND! my hand isn't raised. YOUR HAND WRITING LOOKS UGLY!
(I figured he was just going to fight with me, and if this story was going to get completed I needed to do some quick thinking. So no matter what he wrote down, I was going to keep writing the story and hopefully the story could continue)
the fat cow said as he scraped dead off his shoe. I DONT LIKE YOU. he complained as the remains spread in the dirt. THE DEAD THING WAS ERIN. how could I be dead if I am here writing? THIS IS A STORY OF THE FUTURE. are you threatening me? YOUR BEING A DUMB GIRL WITH A DUMB STORY. we don't even have a story. do I need to tell you what you spelled wrong again? TO MANY WORDS. you spelled 'too' wrong. STOP CORRECTING ME. I SPELL HOW I WANT. fine. let's get this over with. They were going to HAVE A FUNERAL FOR THE DEAD THING. The thing was a weird shape so they had TO DIG A HOLE. HEY YOU SPELLED WIERD WRONG. no I didn't. UH HUH I BEFORE E EXCEPT AFTER C. so your brain does have a storage unit. YOU SPELLED IT WRONG. no, weird is ironically spelled weird and is an exception to the rule. I'M TELLING. stop, you'll only embarass yourself.
At this point he ripped the paper in half and to my relief the teacher came over to see the problem. She read our story, and I was horrifyed that she would think my writing skills were dampened by his chicken scratch and lack of imagination, but to our surprise she burst out laughing. She laughed to the point of tears, read our story to the class who also burst out laughing. We sat there pouting.
I found this whole 'story' while looking through bins while setting up for Christmas. If you would like to see my real writing skills at that age I posted a story called 'The Book Writer's Shop' please check it out, and please understand why this has dampened my liking for collaborative writing.
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