I finally know...

I finally know the feeling that Bella was going through in New Moon when Edward left her. Now, I'm not one for twilight or anything. I don't really like it at all...but I can really relate to Bella in that certain time at the moment :/ Which really, really sucks.

I always thought she was stupid for how she was acting and how she was describing her pain...but that's exactly how I feel. Sure, I'm only 16 and I have many people yet to come in my life. But I don't want any of those other people. Sure, we were only together for what? Basically ten months, 6 months technically, but it was pretty much like ten, there just wasn't a label on it. But he was my everything. My whole entire world. My bestfriend. My...I don't even want to say "boyfriend", because he was so much more than that to me.

I know what most people reading this might want to say..."You're still young, you have plenty of time to find the right person for you. Just move on from him and you'll be fine.". But it's not that easy...it really isn't. I'm so sick of crying, and hurting, and having pains in my stomach and chest so bad that I just want to die. I'm sick of pretending that I'm happy, and not getting enough sleep, and waking up in the middle of the night screaming or crying.

I have never, ever felt this sort of pain and agony in my whole entire life. I don't care if anyone thinks that I'm being dramatic. Because I know how I feel, and no one can tell me how I'm actually feeling or what I'm feeling is wrong or stupid. Because they're MY feelings.

And unfortunately, they're one hundred percent real. :(