When Does it Change?

When does something change? Where, when, why, how? Have you ever noticed how

one moment you're bouncing off the walls kind of excited, or just completely content with life

in that certain moment and then something goes and changes? It's as if someone came up

to you and we "Tada! Things CHANGE." I don't like change... But then, who does? I mean, I

suppose I don't because normally things go pretty well and then get worse, not the other

way around. I'd imagine if your life completely sucked you'd be pretty darn happy for change.

Do any of you [readers] think about something and how brutal that something was, and

how much it... hurt, and wish that there was some way you could change it? See, I do that a

lot... But then I think about it some more and think of how it [whatever it may be] could've

gone so much WORSE than it actually did. Afterwards, despite the fact that you may be sad,

angry, confused, or whatever emotion you may have, you're still somewhat happy that it

didn't go how your mind had twisted it... into something so much more horrid than the

reality?

These days, I'm so angry, sad, confused, hurt, etc. etc. I don't know what

to do with myself sometimes. I'm sure if you're reading this you can probably relate in some

shape, form or fashion. Lol. It prob'ly sounds like I think my life sucks, but to me, it's really not

THAT bad, before this past summer, it was pretty awesome. The only thing that's really...

wrong right now is the fact that my mom is in a vegative state [sort of like a coma]. Let me

explain a bit about my life: We're [my brother and

I... and I suppose when [I'm not going to take "if"] Mom "wakes up", her too] are having to

move again [by January 9th]... [it will be the 18th time and I'm 14]; my only family is my

grandma and grandpa, aunt, and 2 cousins [on my mom's side... the only people we talk to];

my dad passed away 4 1/2 years ago; I have to give away my new puppy [about 8 months

old] when I just got her about... 6 months ago, a few days before July; my other doggie died

this summer [which is why we got the one I'm about to have to give away...]; when my mom

had a seizure [which is why she's in that state (seizure)] she

was getting a divorce to my step-dad; and the family isn't so well off money wise [my aunt's

house is about to go into foreclosure on January 4th I think, not exact on that], and my

brother... well, let's just say I don't know what to do. It's not like he's dumb or anything, in fact,

he's too smart for his own good. But anyways, among all of those is school [which has

really been a pain in the rump the last few weeks what with exams and all]. So, yeah. But

see, the only thing that I really consider WRONG with that picture is my Mom [wouldn't you

feel pretty aweful if you'd have known you could have prevented it and not know if she'll ever

wake up (which I pray to Lord that she will)?]

But see, what I'm thinking is... WHAT WILL HAPPEN?! I don't know what's worse -- Not

knowing what will happen, or knowing and it not being fluffy [My way of saying nice, pleasant,

etc.] Lol, it's things like this that make you greatful, you know? Heck, even with everything --

Someone ALWAYS has it worse than you do. So the point of this is to be GREATFUL for

what you have! Stop whining [although venting is another story -- You're facing it] and LIVE A

LITTLE! Have fun... Don't be stupid though [I'm talkin' about all the bad stupidity, not the fun

randomness =P] I know it's not my place to tell ANYONE what to do, I'm just hoping you'll

listen. 'Cause life is ALWAYS worth living. =D Learn from the past, live in the present, and

look forward to the future. ^.~