Mad

I don't know what has come of me. I have so much stress in my life right now. And now i did this. It's there. I know it. I can see it. I can feel it. But, something inside of me, i just can't seem to stop it. I need professional help. NO! I can't do that. My parents would start asking questions. They would want to know what is wrong with me. I can't let them know about what is happening to me. They can't. They would kill me. Well, unless i would kill myself first. NO!! I can not think of the negative. Well, i am doing the negative, but that doesn't matter anymore. They told me not to do it because you get addicted to it. Well, stupid me just did it. My friend told me it is a bad habit. I knew i would get in trouble later. I knew they would find out. But, they haven't found out yet...YET. GOD!!! I need help from you. I can't go to my parents. I can't go to my family. I can't go to my friends. They ALL would kill me like my family would. I need to help myself. I need to take care of it myself....unless i can't and the worst happens. UGHH!! I have no idea what to do but i just can't seem to stop. I get stressed. I get mad. I get aggravated. I get pissed. I have no idea what to do and the only 3 people that could help me is me, myself, and I. Well, what if they can't help me? What if i start to lose myself? What if i do something so bad that nobody else can't help me? Not even me, myself, and I? Well, i guess when the time comes I will figure it out. What if i don't have time? Maybe when the time comes it will be too late and the whole world suffers because of what i am doing what I will do. Unless i stop right now and this all can end and nobody ever has to know about it? They don't have to know. The scars will go away. They have too. The 1rst one is already almost gone. Yeah. Well, if i keep doing it then there will be more. And more. And more. And more. Well, this has to stop. I don't know. How. When. Where. Why. How. But, hopefully i will figure it out.