I really do not know what to do... :\

so I was terrified as to what would happen today. i kinda wish I didn’t get as much as I did for Christmas. I know that we are not in the best of financial statuses right now and my mom went all out. I know she felt TERRIBLE because she couldn’t get me what she wanted to. but to be quite honest I just wanted her to be happy for Christmas and that is truly all I wanted. I know she keeps getting bills in the mail that we can’t pay right now and she still paid a lot on my christmas. I got contact which were a hundred and ten dollars for six months because of how bad my eyes are and then she also got me a fifty dollar gift card to my hair salon because I haven’t had the money to get a haircut in quite a few months. the gift card was for FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS. then I got some other items so I am guessing she spent right at about two hundred dollars on my christmas. I kind of REALLY feel like shit. I don’t know what I can do to make life easier for her… sometimes I wish I were never born so that she would have more of a stress-free life… :(

I love my mother so much, I want to do something very big to show her how much I love and appreciate her. like I said whatever it is has to be cheap because I help out with the bills when I can and I do not have a job soooo… :\ does anyone have any ideas (cheap)?