So this is what they mean when they say 'Life isn't fair.'

Ahem, well today is Jesus' birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS. Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. Anyways, is just me or does anyone else feel like PMS should be punched in the face? Now, now I'm not one for violence, but seriously? I think I'm not alone when I say PMS deserves a swift kick to the gut.
One minute I'm excited, - who wouldn't its friggin Christmas!- and then I feel like the whole world hates me, and that everyone hates me. Dramatic I know, trust me you DO NOT have to remind me. Oh! I have no idea if anyone has gone through this but, I getting pretty emotional when it comes to food. - Especially chocolate! YUM!- Mind you this is only when the beast emerges from my ovaries sending waves of hormones through my body. I don't know if that actually happens but, don't tell me. I want to believe.
This is probably crap you have heard before, or even experienced - Please god, please tell me I'm not the only one who cries over chocolate.- But this is a journal, and. . . well I don't about the and. But you get my drift right?! Right?!
Where was I going? Oh yeah! I didn't come here to complain PMS. I came here to complain about something else. You want to know what it is? Well I don't care if you do or not, because I'm going to tell you anyway, and if you don't want hear it click that arrow in the corner of the screen and LEAVE!
. . .
Ahem I was just kidding, don't leave! I heart you. Sweet baby Jesus, where was I going with this? Well I don't exactly know myself. . .However! I have something to say! You know when you know that one person who has a really rad relationship with someone? Doesn't matter who it is. Boyfriend, Best friend, Mom, etc. And you crave that sort of thing and can't help but be just a tiny bit jealous? Well if you DO understand then you'll know when I tell you that I was the girl you were jealous of. Now, now don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not no Barbie, actually I'm quite the opposite. Nor am I popular. And to be frank I like that way.
Well, ANYWAYS I'm talking about the relationship part. Yeah you would have been jealous. Me and my best friend, no. Me and my SISTER from a another mister. (Yeah I went there.) We had the perfect friendship. Seriously you didn't see one of us without the other. I'm not quite sure why we were so close or perfect for each other. Then again I don't really care. I just knew she was my best friend and she was the only thing I got right. The only thing I could hold to. The only thing I could trust... Well she wasn't exactly a 'thing' but you get my drift. Oh, By the way, I am not in no way shape or form exaggerating this at all! I swear on sweet Bob Bryar above! I don't know where Bob Bryar came into that. But it does make sense! He is a drumming GOD.
Back to what I was talking about, me and her where the shizz. If you looked up best friend in the dictionary our picture would come up. Seriously. . . Then one day my world came crashing onto me, in one big wave.
I still remember the day it was a Wednesday. When my phone started to sing to me my ring tone. In the car with my father I answered it, knowing who it was. That was when she gave me the news. The news that still makes me want to punch the sky and yell a slur of curse words. She was moving. Moving hundreds miles away from me. I wouldn't get to see her face. We would never lay on her grass and talk about little nothings. We were never going to be 'Alli&Kayla'. We would be separated.
People would come up to me questioning me where was my partner in crime. And every time I had to answer struggling to keep the ocean of emotions exploding from my eyes.My other half was gone. I would always be half empty.
Well anyways! I would keep going but you're probably hundred years old by now. I just wanted to say if you have that one person, hold onto them. Tight, and thank whoever it is you believe in and tell them how much you love them. You never know when life will snatch them away in a blink of an eye.

P.S.
- Me and Alli are and will ALWAYS be my best friend. We talk every day and this summer I'm going to visit her. Yeah be jealous.

"I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun, staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying (are you there at all?)
If you want I'll keep on crying (do you care at all?)
Did you get what you deserve? (are you there at all?)
Is this what you always want me for?

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard"