You know how sometimes you'll hear a song, and it will completely change your mood, or make you feel an emotion that was hiding away somewhere inside you?
Well, that just happened to me....
Tied Together With a Smile
-Taylor Swift
Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
Guess its true that love is all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh cause it's not his price to pay
It's not his price to pay
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
oh oh oh oh
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
oh oh oh oh
You're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
It's like every one wants something of me. And I want to make everyone happy. For once I was happy with who I have and everything that they feel for me. (Ha, I sound angsty.) But I want more and I feel that it's to much to ask when she isn't ready.(Not in that way either)
I have a friend down in Texas as well. I tell him I love him and he says the same to me. And for me those words are never lies or meant lightly. Sometimes I'm just so unsure of how much I mean them or in what since I mean them.(like a brother, sister, Family, friend, Lover...ect.)
I feel like the first verse of this song would be something my Girlfriend would tell me.
Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, cause I know you
But I know I'm beautiful, people tell me so all the time. I guess I feel I'm a bit ugly on the inside. I'm not a mean person either, so I don't no why I feel this way.
Maybe It's cause I'm a little on the slow side and don't get a lot of things. It makes me see my self in a completely different way than other people do.
I'm shy.
ADD.
Non intellectual.
And by that I mean I'm not on the same level as a lot of the people my age.
Guess its true that love is all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh cause it's not his price to pay
It's not his price to pay
That's all I ever do is give and give and give and half the time I feel I don't get what I give in return. Maybe it's just me missing something again. Maybe I have really crappy Friends and Family...
I hate that I can never make the first move. Not just in relationships but in life as well. Just going up and talking to people.
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
I'm always in over my head.
With school.
At home.
Emotionally.
Physically.
I'm strong because of the things in my past but they are probably nothing like somethings you've been through. (I'm not going to sit here and tell you all my problems(past and present)) And these things make me who I am today. Sad thing is I don't really know who that person is...
I'm constantly changing and rearrange my life for different reasons. Maybe that's just who I am. *shrug*
People who know me tell me how strong I am and truth be told I'm not. I break down more than hold my head up. I cry when people yell at me, I cry when I get a tiny bit in trouble by a teacher or adult person. I have ever since I was little. I can't help it either. It just happens. Even if I tell myself that I don't care.
I try and hide my crying though, most likely with this excuse because I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that girl who cries over spilled milk. I want to be strong.
But, you know at the same time I'm always looking for someone to hide behind. I hate being hurt but I always end up hurting myself in the process of protecting myself.
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
I wear a smile but most of the time it's not true. I don't like that about myself. It's like a facade that's ugly. But only I'm capable of seeing it. Lately my smile has been coming undone. It's showing that I'm even uglier under my disguise. I think people are seeing it and becoming afraid of me. Afraid of the girl that they thought they knew. when really I am that girl. I just need someone to lean on.
It's sad to say the two people whom I think care about me a lot don't seem to know all this... I want someone so bad. They have know idea...It hurts.
I'm ugly when I cry.
This song is me, all of it, and I have never found a song that's made me see myself so much.
Just know that I love you guys and If your reading this I feel I should say I'm sorry. For what I don't know. But I'm sorry.
Samantha Winfield Oakley
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