Cafe Observations

An alarm goes off, signaling the completion of another gourmet $8.99 chicken Panini cooking in the microwave.

In front of me, across the cafe seems to be an interview of some kind in which a severely overweight man in a track suit laughs his ass off at a severely underweight, beautiful woman in a black dress suit. I wonder if he is going to get laid and if she is going to get the job.

Beside me a grandfather silently reads some mystery novel and a granddaughter reads a comic book also in silence. They both seem extremely content. Enjoyable silence between two people seems to only take place between the very young and the very old.

A man walks up to the trash can to dispose of all of his crap. He looks like he should be in flannel, chopping down trees in the 1800s or wearing a monocle and playing the part of Young Mr. Monopoly Guy in some zany, experimental off Broadway play in which all of the famous old board games share an apartment and needles as they try to make it in the tragic world of child’s play.

By the magazines a snow haired woman leans intently over the latest edition of some home décor mag. She looks like a pistol and not at all sad like most older folks do when they’re alone. I wish she would come over and sit with the old man behind me. His frail voice makes him sound so damn sad and lonely. It would be an interesting sight. They’re opposite in almost everyway. Female, male. White, black. Abrasive, meek. They both seem smart though. I bet they would get along really well.

I begin to notice that Fat Guy and Skinny Girl are talking about how to design her wedding dress. This gives me a new perspective on the situation. She stands thinking she has to sneeze. She spins to her left, eyes clenched and hand under her nose. After a pause she smiles a bubbly smile and spins back into the chair. She seems pleasant.

I see some women on in the centre of it all talking into their drinks. I start to wonder if Barnes and Noble is the new singles bar. If that were so, then maybe humanity isn’t circling the drain as much as I thought.