James Owen Sullivan.

I'm not really sure I'm totally capable, or ready to do this yet, but I need to...eventually.

James Owen Sullivan was my hero. I loved him to bits and I don't think I'd be here today without him. I was lucky to meet him, and I met him quite a lot. We both knew each other on first name basis, he always remembered my name, my face and things about me, despite having millions of other fans.

I have gotten through high school, almost, this year being my last. I've nearly gotten through high school, thanks to Jimmy and him having faith in me. He told me one night, I was a smart kid and that I could do anything I wanted to, I just had to set my mind to it...I believed him, not only because he was the sort of person you just had to listen to, but because he was right.

He'd promised me that once I'd graduated with flying colors, which he was certain I'd do, he'd come back to Perth, he'd drive the hour to my house in the hills, sit in my backyard on the grass and have a glass of cider with me; only because he knew I loved it.

My promise in return was to finish school, pass with flying colors and make him proud. Make Jimmy proud, when I had no one else to have be proud of me. I needed Jimmy to believe in me, because he was the only reason I had to continue on with school, because I mean seriously, who can say no to Jimmy?

He broke that promise, and I know that it wasn't his fault, and I don't want to blame him, but when I found out he had died, I couldn't do anything else but cry and scream at the posters I had of him, telling him that he was a fucking idiot for leaving. I know, it seems harsh, but when you lose that person, the one person who believes in you, it's hard. Though, the people who saw him on a day to day basis, are hurting worse than me, but I looked at Jimmy as a friend, and he looked at me as one.

I know he broke his promise, but I'm not going to break mine. I'm going to graduate, for him, if not for anyone else, even myself. Then I'll go home, I'll put one some Avenged Sevenfold and I'll drink endless amounts of Guinness; only because I know he loved it.

This isn't easy for me, and I haven't stopped crying since I started this journal, or since I found out he was gone. It's been almost a week and I still haven't come to terms with what's going on. I know there are a lot of people out there hurting right now. His friends, family, loved ones and his fans, but we all know that one day it'll get easier and we'll be able to move on from this pain and hurt, but he will never leave our thoughts, he'll never leave mine.

I don't care what people think of this journal, you can insult me and say whatever the fuck you want, but at the end of the day...I lost someone who I loved with all my heart, the person I needed to be alive and it's not easy.

Rest In Peace James Owen Sullivan.
I'll love you forever and we'll be chasing those stallion ducks in our Afterlife together and drinking cider and Guinness one day.

I Love You.