So I Decided to Take Up Diary Writing

Hi. So I haven't been on Mibba in like a million years, but I decided to take up journaling today, and I couldn't think of any other sites that offered feedback.
I'd like some criticism for my writing, because frankly I never seem to get any helpful advice. And no I am NOT a perfect writer, I really am not very good at all, I see room for improvement. Trouble is, I don't know how to.

KAY so here's whats on my messed up mind at the moment:

December 4th 7:30 PM

Mom says she's going to the gym, I can't come though because my room happens to be, "a disaster area." I need to go to the gym.
My love handles are protruding off the side of my Syracuse sweats. The x-small bright orange sweat pants that were once too big and falling off my waste now cling tightly to my sides.
This is all thanks to winter vacation, and all the food that is readily available during Christmas time and New Years. That brings me to my new year's resolution, to eat better and exercise regularly, and to look killer in a bikini by june. Like that'll ever happen.
I put the pro in procrastinate.

Oh goodness, now that I think about it, how is R gonna like me when he comes back from his year off in Israel, his trip to "promote self discovery" before college (except I'm convinced he's not doing any learning their, he's going to clubs with his many gorgeous girlfriends... the trip is probably a whole 10 month long sex party.)
But when he comes back, I dont want him to keep thinking I'm just his little brother's weird goth friend, who laughs obnoxiously whenever he says something completely un-funny, and gets caught staring at his rippling muscles whenever he walk by, I want to be that girl he grew up with who grew into a total hottie. Too bad I can never be hot with my features, too small eyes, larger nose, angular jawline. Maybe if I do some exercising on my own, or at the gym if mother desides to TAKE ME, I can counteract my weird face with a smokin' bod.
Then all I'll need is a boob job, or at the very least an amazing push-up bra.