To The Person Who Helped Me Become A Better Person

Hello my lovely fellow Mibbians!!! My name is Sandra, but most of my lovely friends on this site all refer to me as the ever-so rash, assertive and maybe a few people will consider me to be maybe just a little agressive (Yes, sarcasm is indeed there in that last statement).

My life was never an easy one, even as a child, I went through things that would make people turn green in the face and curse the very souls that placed the very torment in my life. During my childhood I found solace in my silence, even after the heavy degree of abuse I received, and my family, who let me know that there was nothing wrong with me. By the age nine, I had been forced to see a total of four therapist, who all wanted me to 'talk about it' or wanted to 'fix me'. Even then, my family realized I was not like other children. I refused to talk about it. I wanted to move past it, leave it behind me and move on, not have to constantly talk about how I was dealing with it, or if I needed to talk about it.

The support of my loving mother, my pain in the ass little brother, my Nazi of a grandma and of course the only man in my life that made everything feel better, my Papaw, helped me through everything. My deadbeat of a father wasn't around much, I tried to establish some sort of connection with him, but apparantly alcohol and going to the bar had been more important than spending time with me for the Summer I had chosen to stay with him. It didn't take me long to give up on him.

By the time I hit Seventh Grade, and had been forced to move from my home of eleven years in Florida, to some bum-fuck town in Pennsylvania, I had given up pretty much on caring about anything. I ignored the shocked looks on the faces of my new peers when I told them to fuck off and leave me alone. I ignored the close-minded people that lived in this bubble of a town, and ended up being relatively feared throughout the following two years (it may have had something to do with my anger problems and the several fights I had gotten into within my first month of being there).

It wasn't until I started high school that I realized my life was already beginning to change. I had gained some 'friends' (really they were people who followed me around in amazement or to make themselves feel as though they had accomplished something by me not hitting them), ended up getting into Rock Music (as if there is anything else worth listening to), and pretty much still retained the image of being someone not to be messed with. I still kept silent in classes and found myself finding a love of writing.

My life changed my Freshmen Year at that godforsaken school. All because of a rather ditzy and quiet, doe-eyed girl by the name of Katie. I hardly remembered her when we were paired up for a project in that Science class, on that tiny ass planet named Mercury. I remember being highly amused when she pointed out so innocently that our dot on the chart was sssooooo tiny.

Through a series of more small quirky little lines, such as 'Mar-tan Map? What the hell is Mar-tan?'. I can tell you know, that is exactly what she said when she read the word Martian. 'The water is wet!' after jumping in a puddle. And of course, her several attempts of causing me concussions such as almost shutting my head in a trunk.

I found my hardened heart soften at the warm smile, the bright eyes and her always-golden heart. Her open-ness to trying something new and her understanding of feeling like an alien in this fucking bubble-ass town.

It came to no surprise really, when I found myself constantly jumping to her defense when people began to take advantage of her undeniable selflessness. It came to no surprise when I encouraged her, while it is ok to keep your heart open, it is not ok to allow people just to walk all over her.

I never once thought at the beginning of this friendship that I would meet someone that held a sense of understanding to my indifference of things, and that this little mousy girl would be the one of the only people to ever place an imprint upon my hardened heart.

Never once have I heard her call me cold-hearted. Never once did she become disgusted with my obvious brash, blunt and sometimes cruel sense of humor.

And yet never once, did I see her as anything less than she is.

A pure soul, with maybe just a little jadedness about her heart. A soul that, never in my entire life, until now, did I ever think would grace me with their prescense in my life.

And with each passing day, I can always find myself thankful for one of the truest friends I've ever head, and till I take my last breath, I know she knows that she is one of the few that I would not die for...oh no...dying isn't strong enough I'd kill for her if she needed me to.

So to my lovely friend, Katie, I find myself devulging to everyone on Mibba what only few people in this bubble-ass of a town can only guess.

You...and you alone are the reason I have found myself giving into the idea of letting people in and welcoming them into my life.

So thank you, for being the light in my dark life. Thank you for being the reason within the insanity within my mind. Thank you for being the structure in what I can only ever consider chaotic life that I've lived.

Thank you for granting someone like me, who at times feels as though they are unworthy of such devotion, the pleasure and honor of being considered a friend.

Thank you for being you.