Sometimes I feel like absolute crap.

That is so true too. I feel like i'm the thing on the bottom of the shoe that people are just absolutely disgusted with. And it's true. I can just about promise you that my mom is completely disgusted by me right now. She's out in the living room crying because of me. I ran up the phone bill, and she doesn't know how she's going to pay it. All because i was being selfish again and only thinking of myself. And everytime I see her crying and know that it's because of me..i just, I feel like the worst person in the world. Like, the owrld would be better without me in it. My mom would be happier. No selfish daughter who thinks of nothing. She wouldn't have to worry about how to pay the bills because she wouldn't run them super high. She could live better. I know i'm whinig and being over dramatic, but this is how I actually feel, and usually posting these things helps me think a little more clearly, and I sometimes feel a bit better after i get it all out. sometimes i feel worse. Sometimes i just type it all out and then delete it. But, either way, it doesn't matter. I am a selfish bitch, and a bother to my mom. that's all that matters right now. that and the fact tha I need to change it. Like, now.