When you make me feel like crap every time I open my mouth... it's no wonder I'm insecure.

I feel like I live in two different worlds sometimes. I have two completely different groups of friends and those worlds rarely seem to collide.

One group of friends I've known since I was in yr 7. They're the reason I survive high school without breaking down. Sometimes, they're all that keep me sane. But I feel like they constantly make a mockery of me.

I don't think they do it on purpose. None of them are intentionally malicious people. It's just... it's annoying. But I don't want to be the 'sensitive' one, whose feelings need to be tip-toed around because quite frankly, I'm not that person.

But sometimes I just get sick of feeling like I'm the idiot. Like I have think things over 500 times before I say it just to be sure it's not 'stupid'. It's not healthy to be this way and I know that.

Sometimes I do say... well, not stupid things, but irrelevant things. And that's fine, laugh, but laugh with me and not at me, you know? I laugh at myself all the time. I don't take myself seriously anyway so there's no need to point a finger.

I guess I'm just sick of feeling like crap a lot when I'm with them. But I don't want to lose them either, because losing them and only having my other group of friends puts me into this dangerous bubble that's too difficult to explain, but I spent my entire six years of high school in a similar bubble and I don't want to put myself there again. I don't want to be so sheltered anymore.

... I'm just rambling incessantly, like I usually do.

On another thing, I was contemplating writing a story about pirates. Er... I don't know. But I kind of want to bring them back... forget Vampires, seriously, they are so 2009.