The Gentleman Spy

Yesterday was the perfect day to pretend to be a brooding poet. The fog was thick and the bars were warm. A friend and I decided to take advantage of this and spend the day sketching and writing away in our group’s favorite haunt -- Café Europa.

Halfway through coffee and a cheese platter, our waiter decided to step out for a smoke brake. He was a handsome fellow. Tall, slim, dark featured with a strong jaw line and slicked back hair -- he reminded me of a classic 1950s actor like Bogart or Dean. He also had a distinct James Bond quality about him as well. I mentioned this observation to my friend.

“Dude, you’re right! We should ask what his story is.”

“No,” I said in one of my rare strokes of genius, “let’s make up our own.”

I now present to you:

The Gentleman Spy

He came from an old Italian family bred to do one thing: protect life as we know it.
He had seen many things.
Loved many women.
Killed a man on a unicycle.
He toiled away, day by day, as a simple waiter -- dreaming of his old life. A life as an international spy.
He had known no sides -- only the desire to maintain the balance between good and evil.
At night he drank dirty whisky to forget the only woman who was able to tame the wild beast within his soul.
His favorite actor was James Dean.
He longed to be Frank Sinatra.
He was allergic to cats and loved the smell of gasoline.
He never look at himself directly in the mirror for fear of losing his soul. This was based on an old Italian wives’ tale his grandmother had told him as a child.
He was trained in 13 languages, 6 forms of martial arts and over 50 styles of dance.
He often would think about how many people were thinking about what he was thinking about.

The best part came when before we left we shared a cigarette with the guy and read this to him. After we had finish he paused and took a long drag.

Finally he said in a think northern accent, “It would knock your damn socks off if you girls knew how true all that was.” With that he left us a business car with his work alias on it and walked away without a word.

Flippin’ awesome.