Mneeh

I don't know why but there is always a reason to feel bad around here. Even in the brightest day, why must everything be complicated, why? I don't like this world we are livin' in, everything swirls around money, now I'm using my brand new laptop, I feel very guilty.

I'm supposed to sell the other comp so we can pay for this one, but seriously, I have zero contacts, I've told my mates but none wants it. I dunno, why am I supposed to know how to sell it? I should try harder I do know that, but I really don't think my mates will want one. I know stupid adolescent rambling, but it sorta nags me, mostly cos it's so fucking stupid. I don't need a lap top or an ipod, ayear ago you wouldn't have bribed me into getting one, now...

I wonder what exactly are these things called ideals. I used to have many and they didn't get me anywhere, they made me disappointed and sad, very, very sad. I'm tired of them, tired of checking for where you can buy all the time, tired of being yelled at, tired of believing in lost causes. I'm sick of having a book of conspiracies and feeling like I'm constantly attacked by the system.

I officially can say that I no longer know what I believe in.

Fuck punk, fuck anarchy, but fuck money too, fuck the bleeding system. I'm through with these and I can't even escape it, I'm in for life.

I don't wanna be worrying about bills and paychecks all the time, but I don't believe in any ideals anymore.