Holiday Blues

With only a week left of the holidays I'm starting to get anxious. I don't want to go back to school. I blame those back to school adds, once they come on you know you're in deep shit. I finally got all my textbooks, so that's not a problem.
I normally feel excited around this time. A new school year, new classes, new teachers, new class rooms, new timetable, new friends, seeing my old friends, actually having a reason to get up in the morning. But I'm not excited, not one bit. Just like I wasn't for Christmas or New Years. I don't know what's wrong with me, maybe something got into my head and started eating the part of my brain that controls excitement.
Sleep too, that's a problem I've never had before. Getting to sleep use to be as easy as finding a good song to listen to, but now it's tossing and turning for three hours while my brain rambles on about nothing. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?
And on top of that I think I'm getting cold and if I get a cold, then I can't paint a picture for my best friend's birthday and I can't go out and buy workbooks for school. And if I don't have workbooks I might as well not even go to school. *sigh*
I think this was all triggered by my sister leaving the country on student exchange. Maybe I think she doesn't care about us anymore, or maybe it's that the house is much quieter now, especially with the absence of my grandmother and all her annoying questions. Maybe I'm just going crazy. Perhaps I should carry a sign around with me saying "stay away potential mad person coming your way! You have been warned" Or maybe I'm just being a drama Queen, it's probably that, perhaps it's a phase I have to go through before I can grow up.
Or maybe I'm just being Emma.
January 22nd, 2010 at 06:52am