I feel completely ridiculous:

Everything about what happened is my fault.
I should have seen that coming.
and honestly you should have just backed the fuck off.
I can not believe I trusted you, with anything.
I will not forgive you, but I don't hate you.
It's not all your fault
I can take the blame.

I really should've seen that coming, but at least these happy songs are lifting my spirits.
The music, if loud enough, drowns out my thoughts.
It's a nice release.

And I really hate being depressed.
It's been three days since I cut last, and I'm going to try and stop.
Because before that it was six months and I was so proud. I loved being that proud of myself.
But I can't believe you told me to do that.
ugh.