that sick feeling you get in your stomach when you lose a friend.

I walked alone, my blue and white Sketchers pounding quietly on the black asphalt on the way to the school farm. My hands were in frustrated fists, shoved deep in my pockets. I was looking down, wishing I had gone to my second-choice high school where my best friend was. It was the third day of school and no one had said a word to me, and I was too shy to talk to anyone else.
"Ashley, right?"
I looked up. A girl with pale skin and freckles, warm brown eyes and wild red hair was looking at me with a friendly smile.
"Yeah."
"Elena."
From there, we were fast friends. Through her, I made many more friends, and she taught me to be outgoing and to overcome my shyness. She became like my sister.
We laughed about everything. We had so many inside jokes and went through so much together. It was the six of us. Ashley, Elena, Tatiana, Angie, Moenette, and Michelle. We were our own little group. We were silly and random and goofy, always joking and not caring how stupid we looked, how loud our laughs were, how the bitchy girls who thouhgt they were popular looked down on us and gossiped about us behind our backs. We were having fun. We were as good as they were. In fact, we were better because we knew how to have fun. We knew what real friendship was, because we were surrounded by it. Nothing could tear us apart.
Except boys.
That summer, Elena started getting a bunch of boyfriends. It started when she dated David, a 21 year old man in California, a man eight years older than her. That ended quickly, but within two days, she was with another boy, this time only one year older. His name was David, too. That September, she lost her virginity to him at 15 years old.
Weeks after that, they were over. About three more relationships went by, even one with a girl. Then came Tommy.
By this time, in just a year, Elena had changed dramatically. She was still as goofy and fun, but she was more bitchy. She was obsessed with boys and had become gutter-minded. She treated us differently, and put boys before us.
Tommy lived far away and couldn't see Elena without a ride from his best friend, Will. Will wouldn't go without a reason; he was the third wheel. So Elena decided to set him up with Tatiana.
Tatiana wasn't interested. In fact, she was embarrassed. But Elena kept telling her to date Will. She wouldn't stop bothering her. Finally, Tatiana agreed, just to please Elena. Will and Tatiana lasted less than a week. When Will found out Tatiana had no feelings for him, he broke up with her. That's when everything fell apart.
Elena decided not to be friends with Tatiana. It was a pity friendship from the start, according to her. On Facebook, Tommy insulted and threatened Moenette, which got me involved. Tommy didn't even know Moenette; what the hell gave him the right to talk to her like that? In my defending Moenette, Elena got involved and we stsrted fighting.
Elena and I are no longer friends. I want nothing to do with her anymore. She's been giving us shit ever since she started whoring around with all those guys.
But she was my first friend in high school. And remembering everything we've been through together leaves me with a sick, empty feeling. But also, a liberating one. And Im proud to say I think I made the right choice.