Letters to Dad. You will be missed.

Many short letters to my father that is missed dearly by me and many more.

Wrote November 20, 2009.

I'm sorry my grade dropped in math. I was scared to go. I was upset, too. I miss you a lot. I'm in class right now. Your proud, right? I hope so. I'm doing all this for you.

Well, I just got this cute little journal from my counselor. It's really pretty.

I wish I could see you again. Just one more day. Mom said I'm gonna live a long time and experience what you never got to. So I'll probably see you again when I'm 70 years old.

I know it's a long time but I have to stay here for mom. My whole life's purpose is to see her happy.

I'm trying to fill the void in my heart with drugs, smokes, and alcohol. Let's just say it's not doing me any good. It may be keeping me from seeing and feeling everything around me but it's getting harder by waking up and having a hangover, or going to bed and not knowing if I'll wake up.

Even though I have mom, I'll always miss you. I mean, c'mon! I had the coolest, down to Earth, funniest dad ever! No matter what anyone says about you I'll always remember you that way.. And I'll probably punch 'em and tell 'em to suck my invisible dick.

You'll always be in my heart, dad. I love you.

Wrote on December 20, 2009.

It's me again. Just dropping by. It's second period and I keep thinking your still alive, well pretending your still alive. I know it sounds weird but I think you are. I think that you were drugged and shipped to a deserted island. Then again, I'm a fucking schizo.

My teacher, Miss Grey said I shouldn't stay in class today because were discussing suicide. Eric has been dead a week now and I think the same thing about him as I do you. Pretty sad, right? I guess that's one of the stages of accepting a death- denial.

I'm sorry I haven't wrote in a while. I'm also sorry all these journal entries are so damn depressing. But hey, that's life for you.

Eric.. It's pretty hard without him. He was there for me since I was a baby. Without you, Molly, Andi, OR Eric it's like a damn miracle that I'm the only one still breathing. We used to joke that because I was so fucked up all the time that I would die first.

Dad.. I need you more than ever. I'm watching the world crash down around me and I can't do anything about it. Help me.

Wrote today

Last night I fell asleep listening to your music again. It makes me feel better and lets me know I'm not alone after all. When it boils down to it, you really are the only reason I'm still breathing even though your not here anymore. I know I'm acting selfish about the whole "He was my dad so I definitely miss him more than anyone" but I know everyone misses you.

You were the most kind and funny person that ever existed and I love you. I just wish your addiction didn't rub off on me.

I love you, dad. But I can't die from the heroin like you did. I have to stay here for you, mom, and Brandon.

I love you, dad. Please help me make it through all this.

Sincerely,
Stormy S.

xoxo