Feelings

So I'm on the train on my way back to new jersey and I'm hoping and praying that O is not there. NO !!!! I don't have malice in my heart for him. Its just that he's not really the first person I want to see. I like him yes may perhaps have stronger feelings I don't know I'm confused at the moment about him , but it was a good idea to break up with him because he's a liar , he never tells me the truth , and plus he lives in Connecticut I can't do the long distance thing with him because he not really the trustworthy type , hell cheat most likely sorry. But I don't know our relationship is strange were always arguing we argue more than we actually talk. We had good times a lot of good times I miss the good times where we were just friends and didn't have feelings in the way. I regret going with him everyday when I realize we don't talk. He was my best friend. He knew me better than any other boy , and now its all gone nothing to show for it because we can't even talk to each other like civilised people because well go at it. All I want is my friend back. But we all can't get what we want and sometimes we have to suck it up and keep on moving brush the dirt off ourselves and keep on moving. So as of now no more stressing out over him , if he won't forgive me and won't hear me out then he doesn't deserve me as a friend or anything else just saying.

January 3 2010 11:36