Making decisions that alter the rest of your life are damn hard.

I am mega stressed at the moment; I just started my last year of school and I have no idea what I want to do when I'm finished. Everyone around me has the next few years planned out, they know if they want to go to university or TAFE and what courses they want to do. They know what jobs they want, they even know where they want to be in like 5 years time.
I, on the other hand, don't know if I want to go to Uni or TAFE and it scares the crap out of me that I may be sitting here in two or three years time with a dead end job and not achieving anything that I once thought was possible. I used to think, and tell anybody that would listen, that I was going to do something with my life; I was going to take the world by storm and have people I don't know, know my name. But now I don't think it's possible. Or maybe I just grew up and I realize that that isn't something that will make me happy. Maybe in two or three years I will be happy with how my life is. But I don't think that is going to happen unless I figure out what I will do when I finish school.
But I barely have time to do anything lately because I have too much on my plate, between school, homework and other commitments I don't have time to think about it, well that was the case until tonight where I find myself desperately going through different courses on a website trying to find one that could make my life not end up how I see myself in the next few years.
I haven't came across anything that suits or interests me.
I can't even ask anybody for assistance in this because they all tell me the same thing: 'Do Journalism' or 'What about photography', I would love to do either of these but after being told that my photos aren't anything special by my art teacher and that my writing needs a lot of work by various people, I gave up on those two careers.
But I guess I still have 7 months before I need to have my decision made so I will see where this year takes me.
I can only try my best and see where I end up in seven months time...
February 4th, 2010 at 12:38pm