I've been thinking a lot lately, about all kinds of things, but mostly, about one specific thing.

I've been thinking a lot about the fact that one mistake shouldn't, but does, change your relationship with people.

Whether they're your really good friends, or simple acquaintances.
Whether the mistake effected them a lot, or little to nothing at all.
Whether they think it's what was best for you, or the worst thing you could of ever done.

Mistakes change people, and most of the time, not for the better.

But what I really don't understand is, why?

I thought your friends should be there for you through everything, through thick and thin, through good times, and hard ships.

But in the end, your friendship doesn't seem to matter, they only care about what's best for them.

They don't want to be friends with a pot head, or a high school drop out, or even someone who throws a party and gets the cops called, but why?
Because they're selfish, and it doesn't look good for their 'reptutation'.

They don't take into consideration, about how it would effect you, by losing their friendship.
They don't take into consideration, about how depressed you would get, because all of your other friends would follow them, because they're ashamed, and afraid, of acceptance or rejection.

But let me ask you this...
How does it effect you?

How does the feeling of losing your, thought to be, close friends, effect you?
How does the feeling of wanting everything to go back to normal, the way it was before the mistake, yet not wanting to accept defeat, or regret, effect you?

But in the end, does it all really matter?
Answer me that.

Because even if your friends do accept you, it will never be the same, like it was before.
Because of that one, stupid, not-thought-out-before mistake.

February 5th, 2010 at 07:31am