Love

Love.

Noun.

A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

I believe that you cannot directly define love. Love is something that is individual to each and every human
being on the face of the earth. Throughout many experiences in my life, I have come to the conclusion that love is
real, but my idea of it, will be completely different from yours. And yours completely different from anyone else;s.

How can you tell me whether or not I know what love is? It doesn't do the word "love" justice, to try to prohibit
or enforce it. Love will always be in everyone;s life. It doesn't need to be for a significant other either. You
can love an animal. You can love someone in a platonic form of friendship. Some have a love for themselves, or
for money, or power.

Rather than beat around the bush any longer, I guess I should get to the point. I am writing this journal because
there is a lot of hate in my life, not enough love, and I feel the need to get some things off my chest.

5 years ago I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. I have also been diagnosed with mild schizophrenia.

I am currently medicated on Celexa, Lamictal, Abilify, Lexapro, Risperdal, and Concerta.

I have a psychiatrist I see once a week, and have to go through many hours of therapy. Sometimes I break down.
I just sit down and cry. I can't control it. I know I'm probably taking years off my parents lives due to the
stress I cause them. I've also been a negative influence on so many peoples lives. Sometimes I can't sleep at
night, not knowing what the next day will bring.

I've had a rough 17 years. I've struggled with abuse, and drug addiction. I've been to multiple rehabs, none of
which seemed to help. Except for one. Love.

I know that true love exists, because without it, I would still be doing terrible things to myself and others.

I would still be doing drugs. I would still be punching holes in my wall at night. I would still be attempting
suicide. I probably wouldn't be in the shape that I am now without love.

There are very few I can trust in the world. With the love of those few, I have made it to today. And I plan on
making it tomorrow. I want to better myself. I really do.

I know that my one and only will ready this. I'm also prepared for her to get upset because I hid this part of my past from her.

I just need to say in advance, that I'm sorry. I was so afraid that I would lose you if you knew what kind of a
person I used to be. But I know now that something like this won't seperate us, but only make our relationship
grow.

So before I take my leave of you for now, I will have to tell you something. Never let anyone tell you true
love doesn't exist. If you need proof it does, just look at the life of a washed up teenager that has been
turned around by it.

If you've read this whole thing, I sincerely thank you.