Death

It's hard to really understand the complications of any kind of death when somebody else says anything about it. You think about it for a little bit and wonder what it feels like to that person and how their family and friends feel. But it's hard for one of those family members or friends to describe their grief to another person who is ignorant in the subject of death.

It really is an indescribable emotion. It feels like a bottomless pit that leaves you lonely and numb. This feeling doesn't necessarily have to be felt by only the people that were close to the unfortunate soul. Sometimes, you don't have to know them at all. Grief is held in the clutches of those caring people.

I think that everybody has thought in some time of their life, "I wonder what it would be like if I died...." somewhere at sometime for something. Optional occasions. It's only natural, we're only humans. I've experienced a lot of sorrow, grief, and death in my short life so far. There were family members, close acquaintances and friends, as well as people I looked up to but never really met.

I was young when some of my family members died. I grieved in an automatic way, but never really understood why I was grieving. When somebody that I looked up to passed away for unreasonable causes, I cried. Not fully understanding yet what was going on. And now, as one of my friends and classmates pass, it just seems so surreal and unnatural. I still don't understand. At this moment, I think of a phrase I've only ever heard in movies. "Why must good die young?" I always laughed at that. I thought that it was over exaggerated and dramatized. Now I realize that I was wrong.

Death is a very hard concept to grasp for anybody, and I don't think that anybody will really be able to understand it 100% in this lifetime. There are so many different beliefs in afterlives and Heaven and Hell, and maybe even nothing at all. What you believe is what you believe. I, however, believe that we will have a higher apprehension of these horrible fates in the next life or once we get to Heaven (or Hell).

Right now, there is nothing we can do. It is out of our hands. As much as it pains me to say it, the only thing that we can do in situations like these is to be there for everybody else. We need to be there for each other. Nobody says that anybody has to be strong. Say what you need to say and grieve. Families need our help, friends need our help. We all need each other.

No, I was not a best friend of Ashley. Yes, I knew her and associated with her. And yes, my heart broke when I heard about what happened. I honestly don't know what to do. But I will not just sit here and do nothing. I don't care if you and I are friends or not, I want to help you. If you need somebody to talk to, I will try to be there for you. Please don't do anything irrational, because we are all experiencing this loss together. I can't promise that I will know what to say, but I can be there even if it's just to have somebody to vent out to.

My prayers go out to Ashley's family and everybody out there who's heart broke.

Rest In Peace Ashley
2-9-2010