February 11th, 2010-The giftcard.

Honestly, people really piss me off. I do my best to see things from other people's point of view, and try my best to be open minded and understanding to other peoples circumstances and shit, but it seems no one wants to do that when it's my situation. People turn against me, my mother, father and brother. It's been this way my whole life, though. If something bad happened they would look at me first. Of course my brother got a fair share of shit thrown his way from my parents, but I've gotten alot too. It just bugs me that no one sees things the way I see things. Maybe there's something wrong with me? I dont know anymore. I'm just fed up with this. Im not superwoman, i cant handle so much shit. Ive never had a nervous breakdown before, but I'm one blow out arguement away from a total breakdown, and knowing my dramatic self, I'm going to do something way too extreme and end up hurting someone or myself. I fucking hate this. 2010 did not turn out like i hoped it would. Fucking christmas was ruined, and so was new years eve and new years, and now people are just turning against me. The sad thing is the only 3 things i can go to that will definitely calm me down is my Ipod, my dog, and my best friend. No, even she pisses me off at times. So its only 2 things. Music really is my tranquility. its a good escape, to listen to music, blast it as loud as you can stand it, and not have to worry about hearing other people talk to/about you. Like I said before, I'm not superwoman, although some may think that with how well i handle things. I'm not being concieted, its true. I'm a very strong person. I honestly think everyone is a strong person, some just don't know how to harness that strength. Hopefully strength regenerates, otherwise I'm fucked.