Which brings me to my current situation..three boys that i have the hots for (more like victims) xD
Here's the scope -
Gav is from college. Out of the three days i go there he's only there on two of the days, cause of our stupid timetables. As soon as i saw him i took a liking to him, which happened to be on the first day at college, he came into our class with one of his mates, thinking it was his class, hah, faiil.
Anyways, my cousin found out that i like him and ever since then, she's been embarassing me and in my opinion, making the situation worse for me. She shouts 'chaz loves gav' whenever we're walking past him. I mean..he doesn't even know who i am? And how the hell does anyone manage to love someone they've never talked to? I'm sure the word 'fancy' isn't the same as 'love'. -_-
I managed to talk to him once. Just after the Xmas holidays, the one day my cousin wasn't in, we kept bumping into each other so much that when he ended up coming into our class and stood there for a painful long minute (lmao) i had to confront him and apologize about my cousin, and well, introduce myself..but after that, i've never felt like i've had a good enough reason to talk to him when i see him, and he's always with his mates. And my cousin is STILL doing the usual teasing. The other day i heard her say to another person in our class that he asked her who this 'chaz' was and she told him..but it's as if she obsesses over him? So now all i want to do is avoid him. But i do still like him. -_-
Ben is gay. Wow, yeah, i fell for a gay. But believe me it's not the first time. I overheard some girl talking to him on the phone, she was asking about his new tattoo that he got that day. (No, i don't spend time listening to others on the phone. It was to distract me from the chavs talking about the pink in my hair xD) Well anyways, about an hour after i went to my cousin (yeah that one from up there ^)'s boyfriends flat. Whilst there his friend said that this Ben dude was coming over to show off his new tattoo. What's with all these coincidences, btw? Well the girl mentioned that Ben was gay and that he was 'emo'. And that's when i thought 'oh hell, i bet i end up taking a liking to him'. And i was right. When he came he was like the 'boy of my dreams' if you want to put it that way. He's just amazing to look at.
We only really talked about tattoos and piercings at that time. I was too shy - still am.
Then one day when i was at college. My cousin had went off to her bfs again. When i was leaving college i got a text claiming it was Ben. At first i didn't believe it. Especially when he said he wanted to text me cause i 'looked hot'. o_o
But it turned out it was him. And it was my cousin who gave him my number, after telling him that i fancied him. He also apparantly told her that he would turn straight for me. Well all of this was just making me like him more, but i couldn't help but feel that it was just too weird. I mean..i don't understand how a gay could just turn straight like that?
Anyways, i've spent time with him to get to know him better and that. And yeah, i guess he is the definition of what people know as 'emo'. I won't go into that though, it's his business, not mine. I just feel the whole sexuality thing is making it complicated. xD
Jordan is possibly one of my best friends? I say possibly because i just keep getting the feeling that he doesn't want to talk to me and that. It's confusing. He's a guitarist in a band that's well known in the area. We first started talking on his 19th birthday and since then we kinda just became friends, over msn, texts etc. The first time i met him in person was a bit of a disaster. I was too nervous/shy that he actually thought i hated him when he came to talk to me cause i wasn' t being too talkative. =/
That kinda led up to the first falling out we had. But i had to explain to him that it's how i am when meeting new people, sometimes i get too shy. Anyways, i've always felt like it's easy to talk to him, so i managed to let him know that i liked him. But then he'd go on to tell me 'but how can you? we hardly know each other' and shit like that.
And a week after i told him this. He said something about that there was no one he liked in particular. Then he decides to go out with his bestfriend. Which kinda hurt me. But i'm never going to tell him that, cause maybe he just wanted me to get hurt? Hmmm.
I've tried to just see him as a friend but whenever i see him again..he's just someone who makes me smile and i love being around him, i guess that's what makes me take more of a liking to him. IDK.
Funny how all three of them i met only last year. I just can't seem to like just ONE of them and it's just confusing me cause i don't know what to do about it.
I was talking to Jordan on msn just before..
De zz yDecemb er says:
*gooood cause i want your advice and thoughts on something, since yer like an old man and that [=
- diamonds are forever, but you're fucking not says:
*:|
*ask.
De zz yDecemb er says:
*omg you'll be 20 soon :L
*welllll
*basically, how would you go about stopping liking someone ^-^
feels like a silly question like, but i feel like i need to know lol
- diamonds are forever, but you're fucking not says:
*convince yourself that they're shit
*or meet someone else.
Then he signed off straight away. Hasn't come back on. He always seems to do that when i try to talk to him about certain things and i dunno if that's some kind of sign..? (Btw, the stopping liking someone thing was mainly to do with Ben, but i guess it's to do with him also)
Boys are just too damn confusing!!
What are your guys thoughts? Who do you think i should stick with?
