inspiration

There as a time in my writing that I took about four months off ,it was such a hard time. Hours I would spend staring at a blank piece of paper, my mind blank as fuck. I was going insane, not having a clue on what would happen next. I thought the story would never go on, left an uncomplete piece. I finally made up my mind, that was it. I told myself, "Step back, look around you, its all there, your just not letting it come to you." Thats exactly what I did, as much as I wanted to think about what was going to happen in the end, I didnt.

Some time pasted and with the music around me, the situations I faced in real life, and the emotions I felt in those situations all helped me to continue on with my story. The out of place punk rock kid I know that gets high and runs into walls, the boy that I never thought I would be friends with, and the friends that stuck with me through the worst of times. Those are the kinds of people that made me take those personalities, turned them into characters, and put them in a story. A place where they fit in and had a place, a place where they would be understood, and if they wernt, they would still make it in the end.

The songs that I played when I wanna to cry myself to death, and the songs that I played when I hugged the boy I never thought I would have the courage to even say hello to, thats what inspired me to go on. From songs to Boys Like Girls hit single The Great Escape, to the one and only Lady GaGa's speechless. Those songs, and so many others are the ones that slapped me in the face and said "Right here!" Never in my life have I felt so passionate about music, it wasnt until I really got older, and I had shit to go through. The moment I turned on the radio and there, played my favorite song, when it was over I was able to say, "Wow, Im not alone."

The days that I came home crying to my mom, not understanding the hate, and cold hearts teen kids had these days, thats what helped me. To the days when I got past it all, and became friends with the greatest people I ever met in my life. The people I will tell my grand children about, tell them that even through all the bullshit, there will always be someone there, even if you might not notice them at first. I know that because thats exactly what happened to me. Thats a time in my life that will stay with me forever.

I dont know whats exactly ahead of me, things may become different, or they may still stay the same. Although at the end of the day, I know that with the every day situations, everytime I cry over the phone with my best friend, and when the day comes that I find the person Im going to spend the rest of my life with, I'll be able to move forward. I'll look back and see all the things I've done and said and use it, to push forward.